2004

What happened to your beloved Ginger in 2004? A LOT. Let's see, TERRY came back into my life, fucked it up really bad...Miranda for a while still had her nose in the air at me until recently I begun to get her to lower it from the clouds, and she remembers now that I am her sister not her enemy. I moved out of my home to EL. Aaron happened. Aaron also sailed away...the drama is unfinished--HPRK is now happening... Yeah you heard me Miranda you write that down and call me...And I also found out that J is madly in love with me--just like Zane "used to be" madly and hopelessly in love with me. I cant do anything about that. He'll have to get over me. they never learn...

Well yes another thing that happened was that I found out that an old...boyfriend...if you will--RYAN--I heard that he "got married" and "has a kid" now. I'm pretty sure about it, but I will never believe it completely until it is shoved under my nose. Then of course, I will run far far far crying until I collapse upon the cement and scratch up my face, lose my breath and pass out there in the parking lot to get run over by some concieted man in his fourties driving a BMW, who will never know he killed me, he thought it was another speed bump...

It was a knife in the heart...

Google

Wow, Neil showed me this search browser that is trying to compete with The Almighty Google. I thought it was rather comical at first, but it is a little sad to me now because there actually is someone out there TRYING to beat out Google. I would never have thought of such a thing. Google is so wonderful and I just cannot imagine someone not choosing Google over yahoo or msn or any other stupid search engine, because NONE are as wonderful and great as Google. They have email services now, and I am in on it. I hope it never ends, because I will follow Google to the ends of the earth. For all of you who are anti-google, I hate you too.

Once Upon A Time, In A Town Called Randasia...

There once was a girl who was very shy. Then she met this other girl who also was shy, and eventually they both became best friends. Together, they faced the world very bravely. They were afraid of nothing when they had the other beside. They lived very strongly against the evils of the world until one day, this girl was corrupted by an unknown evil when her friend was away. She didn’t know what to do other than to follow these evils. When her friend came back, she had found her friend was lost inside herself. She didn’t know what to do, and tried so many times to bring her back to the good side, but by herself her powers were too weak. She did bring a little good back into this girl, but not enough. Then someone evil took over this girl. And she could do nothing about it. She was stolen from the world; from herself.

The girl one day woke up from a dream. She had dreamt that someone evil had corrupted her friend, and she could do nothing to save her from the evils of the world. Then she realized that she was living her dream, and let her friend know. Then together, the two used their superhuman powers and saved her from the evils that had corrupted her. They were good again, together defeating the evils of the world.

The end…

NEIL'S CAR

Well, I now HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE Neil's car. I HATE IT!! It failed to take me to Charlotte today, to accomplish all these goals. To talk to Backlund, to visit Miranda, to see Zane Joey Jordan Katelin Mrs. Milarch the ladies in the office...

...and if there, ibzm too...

and visit Marta and give ma and jerry a lesson in computers...

BUT NOOOO...NEIL'S STUPID F*ING CAR WOULDNT START TODAY. I THINK I NEED MY CAR NOW, SO I DONT NEED TO RELY ON SOMETHING SOOOO OLD...(note: the car is 18--my age)

GRRR....MY CAR IS NOT THAT OLD, IT IS LIKE ELEVEN OR TWELVE YEARS OLD--Ok, that is old but to me saying the year doesnt sound old. 1991. Ok, so it's 13...But damn it, 1991 was not that long ago at all! I guess that is when you start getting old, when you can say something like that--"the car is young...1991...13 years old isnt young for a car but 1991 isnt that long ago..." well anyways, my point i'm gettinga at is that I HATE NEIL'S CAR because it refused to take me to Charlotte today. Instead it decided to be sick. Come ON, CAR!! You dont have to be sick when I need you! If you have handled being outside all this time before, you can do it now. I think you're just faking, looking for attention. I bet that TOMORROW you'll start up just fine. Stupid car, I HATE YOU!! Thanks for RUINING MY DAY!!

Tv Production Final

Well, I didnt think about it. Not until just now did I think of it. It must have been good luck. It may be true that I did not study barely at all for this final...dont yell at me yet you havent heard the whole story.

Today: woke up around the time I should have been stepping out of my shower. Got around, caught the late bus. I got to morning class unshowered and ten minutes late. We did nothing in there again, as usual. Discussed Hungry Howie's Pizza for tomorrow. Did a few things of my own in photoshop, class over.

Got on first bus--I missed the 10:05 bus--my lady with the long curly hair who is very bubbly. So I caught the guy who is loud and very timley. Blah nothing happens, fast forward button, got off bus, trudge trudge, fast forward, took shower ate and FINALLY got all five tests from tv class around to look at. At about 11:40--(like twenty minutes after beginning of study) I decided I should get going. But I didnt end up leaving until about 12:15. Packed up tv book and tests and caught Scott's bus. Ah, my Scott who always reassures me. Makes me feel better. He told me I'd do fine. So I got to school at 12:30 and went to the computer lab like I always do. And there I stayed, not studying, until 1:05 pm.

I marched my way down the stairs. Mike was supposed to watch us do the exams because Dave is in Chicago. So he told me to go to room 44, went there, everyone was happy and talkitive. While waiting for the rest of class to show, Woody--the careless guy until there's a test then he panics cuz he doesnt know any of the stuff--asked us all one question about which mics are the most used and the answer we all decided on was capacitors and magnetics.

Then we all got our commercials back--and then we watched them. HA HA HA HAA... Wow I was the star of the class, that's what Joe told me. Which was true, I was in like every other one. There were only a couple that looked like real commercials, too. Tammy's. Her's was excellent. But anyways moving on. Got the exam...EEK is what we all said. Well not me, I am never afraid to have a test thrown out in front of me. I just act like maybe i am because everyone else does. Well, maybe only a test from French class was I afraid of. Why, I remember once...no i'll tell that later...

25 questions of multiple choice, and a million fill in the blanks. Oh, I was so happy to know that there were no essay questions because I have a hard time explaining the whole depth of field in relation to f-stop and blah blah blah...I may understand it but not well enough to explain it. So anyways, I know I got at least 25 multiple choice questions right, which is 25 points. The test was 200 points. So I know I got that. But there were a few that I didnt know, that were two pointers, but not enough of them to add up and cause a problem. I say I probably got like 80% right, or more. Definately not less. I KNOW I got at least 85% on my audio. Probably more like 99% because that thing was sooo easy. So was this one, but not nearly as EEEASY as my audio final.

Well anyways, I was not the last to leave today. There were three others in there when I left. There were hm let's see 10 total that showed up for the final. I believe there was 12 of us.

Well, now I must be off to go watch my commercials again. And what else to do?? Dwell on tomorrow, and the possibilities. I hate and love December...

Last Week Before Break

Well, here I am, it is the end of the semester at LCC. This week has been dull. Monday, study for Audio final. Tuesday, Audio final. Wednesday, not thinking at all. I was going to get some things for late holiday shopping, but now I am late on that. Ugh, life sucks sucks sucks...

Friday though, I am looking forward to. Oh I forgot to tell you that Thursday I have TV final, blah. But FRIDAY...Friday has so much potential. You dont understand. Nobody seems to. But nevermind if you get it or not, I do and that's all that matters. I am going to the high school on Friday asap after I get out of my morning class. And i will be there for the rest of the school day. I cant wait until Friday!!

I might even get to see my Miranda, which she might help me in the end anyways if I do see her. She'll set me straight. I love you Miranda. I cant wait for Friday!! Going to Charlotte!!

Audio Final

Ach... In record time...no, actually would you believe me if I told you that I was the LAST person to leave? I turned in my final second to last, right before that one guy did. He gave it to us at 1:22 pm, and I got out of there at 1:40 pm. 50 questions. It was très simple!! Ach, now if my tv production final will be that easy I will be so happy!!

Which, by the way--those two questions that were driving me mad because I could never remember them but finally made myself memorize them?? They were on the final. Yep. Phantom power IS 48 volts DC, and the velocity of sound at sea level, 70 degrees F IS 1,130 feet per second. GO GINGER! GGRR

MSNBC - Dude, you can't be serious!

MSNBC - Dude, you can't be serious!

Follow Me

For those of you out there who are listening to everything I say, hear me now. Do as I ask of you, for the better of the world. And so if you dont do EVERYTHING I tell you to do, at least do these two things every day:

Be kind to someone you do not know. It may make their day better, and influence them to do the same.

Something The SHEIM taught me: "Do something every day that scares you." It was a quote from a movie I believe...but that's not important. What is important is that we improve upon ourselves by doing this. Now I dont mean go put yourself in prison, that may be scary but that's not what is meant. It means to do something bold and good that you may have been too shy to do. Be brave, be courageous. Actually, I think that courage is better than bravery. Because bravery can get you into trouble sometimes, but courage is always a good thing. So do something that nobody else wanted to do, because they were too shy or they didnt want to stand out.

Improve upon yourself and you will make the whole world better.

Thank you for following me.

Scott Peterson's time has come

WILX | Jury Recommends Execution for Peterson

I am glad to know that this is finally over. This is just like the Oj thing back when I was a kid, only this time I'm old enough to form my own opinion on it. Death by injection.

Down with the Sickness

For those of you who donno...I like cats. Meow meow meow...I love my pretty little boy Killer. I miss him...he's getting fat...

but i'm getting off topic. Yes, I love my four pretty tennessee cats. I miss miss miss them all, not just my Killer. But yeah yesterday and Saturday at the Lansing Center I heard on the news that there was a cat show there. So I wanted to go. But not by myself.

I went there yesterday, and there were so many pretty felines...(no, li'l boy, none NEARLY as pretty as you...) But it was so hot in there. I felt sorry for the cats, especially the ones that were so fluffy and puffy. A couple even had fans in their things! Blame it on the heat, you may hear me blame it on the shoes i was wearing, blame it on my breakfast... or you can try to say i'm allergic to cats--I'm not allergic to cats you know. Otherwise I would not have my pretty boy. But well maybe it was a mixture of things, but I started getting real dizzy. Everything got really bright, and I had difficulty walking straight. I got home and let the dizziness take over, I laid down and passed out.

I dont know what it was, but I didnt get to see as much of the cat show as i wanted. Well, at least I will always have mes chats to go see at home if I really want to see cats. And a bonus: not only is it free to see those cats, I can also mall them.

Disorganized

How many times will I reorder the day's events before I get through the day?? Too many! Today I woke up with a plan...a very long day it was to be. I was to go to class in the morning, do my project immediately after class--I had the lab reserved from 10-2. I knew I would not need all that lab time so I told Mike I would be the female actor he needed. He wanted me to be there at one thirty.

While I was in class, I was looking over my directions and realized that I needed analog tape--something I had left at home. SO...I went and rescheduled the lab for two to four. Went home, got food, blabed with Neil who was acting weird today...came back to school. I figured I'd get the footage done with Mike for his film final in that half hour...WRONG!! Never believe something will only take a short amount of time when it comes to making things in "tv land"...he told me that his other actor would not be here until two. SO, I am to do my project as scheduled today, in ten minutes...and when I get out find him somewhere in the building. Dont worry, it's not too big of a building. And besides, I like easter egg hunts!! Especially when it's a lot harder than your childish game...

So, I tell thee now...this day has been such a mess. But in the end, it should all work out. I should get ALMOST everything done that I was supposed to do. Other than going and turning in my form I will have accomplished everything. Which I might even be able to get it in there before they close at five...and then I will have accomplished everything...YES!!

photoSHOPPE

La la la la la... it goes around the world just la la la la la...and everybody's singin' la la la la la...

Photoshop is so very nifty. I was really complaining about this class for a long time because in our freetime he expects us to do fake things like make stupid fake backgrounds that would never happen in reality...

but today, we are doing something somewhere in the realm of reality. We are to make something that would not be possible in real life, and make it look like it really happened. I will put mine up when I am done with it, for you to understand what I am talking about later...

And for those of you dont pick up on hints easily, Aaron is gone to Mexico now. Sailing away with his brother and friend. *sigh* It's really depressing me. So now you all know why I am depressed, so you dont have to assume anything. It's because of Aaron, sorry to disappoint you, but it's not because of you.

Practical Exams

Practical exams are not the most frightning things in class...but if even I am here saying that, why are my hands still trembling, a little over an hour after I took it??

Last Tuesday, I had my practical exam for Audio class. It was très simple. I got a 47 out of 50 on it. I did one thing wrong: instead of patching into the audio mixer I patched directly to a channel. Which I knew, I just wasnt thinking clearly--I was trying to do it in the 30 minute slot that we were alotted. Which when I went to go get him to tell him I was done, he said "in record time? wow..." It took me twenty minutes to do. Now that I think about it, he did say that it takes him 30 minutes to do it so that's why he expects us to do it in 30 minutes. That surprizes me! I remember when I did a project, it took me like 90 minutes to do it, then I had to do it over cuz something i knew wasnt right with it. After he showed me what i did wrong to it, I redid it and it only took me a total of 15 minutes to do...crazy.

So today, I had my tv class practical exam. 2:40. Turned out a little later than it should have been because something was slowing him down. So I got in and did it perfect, there was only one problem: the break command for the floor director...if i had known that I would probably have gotten 100 though i dont know as he would be so giving, he probably would have gave me a 98 just cuz nobody gets a 100...i donno... well anyways yeah if I would have remembered that one--make the motion of breaking something like a stick...now i will never forget it...

But alas, for the worst is not yet over...i have to take the EXAMS next week. Tuesday for audio, Thursday for tv...AAAH!

Song that means much

Wish You Were Here
by Incubus

I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
Pretend that I am weightless
And in this moment I am happy...happy
I wish you were hereI lay my head into the sand
The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it
I'm counting UFO's
I signal them with my lighter
And in this moment I am happy...happy
I wish you were here
The world's a roller coaster and I am not strapped in
Maybe I should hold with care but my hands are busy in the air

And now we all know why Ginger hates Mexico...and the ocean...

I hate you I love you I am so lost

You irritate the hell out of me. I want to just choke you and pretend I never met you. Why do you gotta be you?

I swear, if there wasnt Miranda and if there wasnt Marta for me to tell everyone that they are my reflection, I would say you are that reflection. And I think you may match it closer than Miranda even does. Wow... now that's something to beat. One problem though--I'm sick of you and everyone else. You people are driving me farther off this cliff than i am already gone. Hm, I dont think that made much sense...

AAAAHHH!!! Someone save me from the mad rush of whispers on a breeze coming to get me!! Each one wants me to do something different...but what can I do? which one should i follow?? AAH! I dont know!!! They're coming to get me!!

WTF/Recap

Ok, today I was told to stop typing in class or I will get sent back to Charlotte in January. Which is crap, because I am clicking more than typing--it's a fellow student who is constantly typing on their blog and so when I type in something as short as my email, he assumes I am doing the same. Ugh, so yeah yesterday in TV class we finally finished all the commercials. They were great. And today after I get out of class--ugh what a busy day--I have to go to Charlotte to see Mr. Backlund about LCC blah blah blah...then we are going to grandma's afterwards. Yesterday night I was talking to Jordan and so apparantly (as usual) someone made plans for Ginger that she was unaware of!! It's ok, I dont mind it at all. Unless it's something that I hate doing. But this isnt, so YAY i get to have a good weekend to balance out the awful week i had. Although I dont know if anything could really balance out all that bull.

In other news, ma and jerry came up yesterday to see us, ma figured out what pictures she wanted of me (my senior pictures) and hm, not much else really happened when they were here. That I can think of anyways. OOh, she got 5 x 7's of Jessica for us. That whole thing still shocks me, that she is so excited about her pictures...

Well anyways...yeah that's about it for the recap of the last week-at least, the edited part.

Blah

I havent been getting alot of sleep lately. Nor have I been eating well. I really am hungry. Ginger is never hungry, but right now she is. I didnt get to eat breakfast AGAIN today...that would make EVERY day this week that I didnt get to eat until 11:00. Ugh...and also I just want to go away. I am tired. I am hungry. I am angry at the world, and flustrated by Aaron. I guess YOU were right by telling me I wouldnt see him for a long time. Let it be known to YOU, though that just because he's gone doesnt mean YOU have a chance. So get over me.

As for the rest of things, well, Miranda and I are talking again. She was there to help calm me down, because the mad side of me was loose. I should have been in a white straightjacket to keep myself from myself but well anyways...I guess she only encouraged the mental side, as did Marta. Luckily Aaron brought reality to me--because I couldnt go to it. I had lost it. Dont worry, I'm here now. I just am concerned about what I might do around the holiday, because I only have a few choices: go crazy from..."blindness"; do what I fear to do; or else do something very bad to keep myself from doing what I am not only afraid to do, but part of me has always wanted to do--even though it is something that will always be with me both haunting me and a good memory...

Ugh, people...

p.s. I still hate you, Hprk...