Life

i was having an alright day today, kinda blah, until i decided to stumble onto Miranda's blog, and since then i've been depressed. I dont really know what to say so i wont say anything. I'll just talk about how some people ruined my life and now i will always be screwed up in the head because of you. Yeah, YOU. But dont get a big head, you're not the only one to blame. No, it's also the people down the road from you. Actually it's mostly their fault. it always has been. But you just added to it, being only a mile away. Hm... so maybe i'll do something you all seem to think i should do but refuse to tell me. i have came close to doing it all on my own, but when someone tells me it, someone who was so close to me for so long, it hits you hard. It's always something to tell it like you see it, but when other people see it the same way, then you arent really imagining it like you always hoped you were. And that's kinda scary cuz alot of my life i believe i have made up. And to be told that something in it that i thought i had just made up is actually real, is frightning. It makes me wonder, what else could be true that i thought was just something i made up? i really want to laugh in YOUR face for never believing me when i told you IT was real. But you chose to glaze everything over for me and tell me it was all made up, that if you cry hard now about it you'll never cry again. But so many times i have recalled the time when i was crying telling you that you were right and i was wrong. I have always looked back on that moment and realized that you WERE NOT RIGHT. I DIDNT MAKE IT UP LIKE YOU THOUGHT I DID. JUST BECAUSE YOU MAY HAVE MADE IT UP WHEN IT HAPPENED TO YOU DOESNT MEAN IT WASNT REAL FOR ME. I will admit, that i know i had to make something up somewhere in there, but eventually, because i chose to believe that it was real for SOOO long, it became real. And they agree. It really is real. So though this started out as a depressed rage, it will end in hope. Knowing that anything can be if you want it to be, you just have to believe with your whole heart that it is true, and that you are not making it up. Eventually the white line of chalk seperating the truth from the world you created will become fuzzy and it will be hard to determine what you made up. And eventually what you once created all in your head will become real.