Thursday, May 26, 2005

Stupid/Crazy People

Oh maaan...some people. Well, I guess I should start with the easiest part first...not long after I got on the bus there was this man. He got on. He appeared drunk but maybe he wasnt, maybe it was something else instead. Well anyways, he was sure that this one guy who he didnt know had played basketball or football, and kept asking him very loudly what his number was when he played. I was happy to get off the bus. But alas, for after the bus drove off I could still hear his voice!! I turned around and he was yelling to a couple walking their dogs across the street, and he said "hey, wait a minute lemme pet'cho dogs! let me pet'cho dogs, WAIT!" and they kept walking but he went after them because...apparantly he wanted to pet the dogs.

There...that's the easy part.

Now...as I'm sure you may have figured by now that the previous paragraph takes care of the "crazy people" part of my title...the harder part is for me to say this in my blog about how stupid someone is. I am so sick of their bullshit, all the stress they put upon someone. How can someone be so selfish and not realize that it is THEIR fault??

I'm sorry Miranda, but I have to. Wether he reads my blog or not, if he hears it enough times, it's gotta click somewhere...

Tony. Ahh, wonderful Tony. You know, I liked Tony once. Yep, I had a crush on him when we rode the bus together. He would always sit with me because he was the ONLY person who I would allow to sit with me in the wonderful heat seat. That was originally because he never had anywhere to sit and I felt bad that everyone didnt want him to sit there because they were selfish. (oh wow...i cant believe i made a connection to something that SHOWS you Tony......) That's right...everyone on the bus was selfish and wouldnt let him sit with them. But I did. Why would I do such a thing? Because I'm not selfish. Because I dont want people to treat people like that. So I let him sit with me because I know how it feels to not have somewhere to sit because all around you are SELFISH people that would rather sit with a bland piece of material with many papers in it that doesnt talk to you or entertain you or even just make you not so lonely...than with YOU. I hate people like that. I can understand sometimes, but when there's nowhere to sit, COME on now....but i'm getting off track. I liked Tony. I'm pretty sure he liked me too. I must admit, I was a little jealous when Miranda and him got together, but by then I was mostly over it because I had found an asshole of my own to deal with. Dont worry, I'm not going to say you are as bad of a person as he is. He is a very bad person, and a verrrrrrry verrrrrry stupid person. I will admit Tony, you are smart, your problem is you are not LOGICAL. Would you like me to explain? Well, want it or not, you'll still keep reading to know what the hell else I would say about you/to you anyways I'm sure. Well, let me get the dictionary out and define this word of which you lack in your vocabulary....



Logic (from ancient Greek λόγος (logos), originally meaning the word, or what is spoken, but coming to mean thought or reason) is the study of arguments. Its primary task is to set up systems and criteria for distinguishing good from bad arguments. Arguments express inferences — the processes whereby new assertions are produced from already established ones. As such, of particular concern in logic is the structure of arguments — the formal relations between the newly produced assertions and the previously established ones, where "formal" means that the relations are independent of the assertions themselves. Just as important is the investigation of validity of inference, including various possible definitions of validity and practical conditions for its determination. It is thus seen that logic plays an important role in epistemology in that it provides a mechanism for extension of knowledge.

As a byproduct, logic provides prescriptions for reasoning, that is, how people – as well as other intelligent beings, machines, and systems – ought to reason. Such prescriptions are not essential to logic itself, however; rather, they are an application. How people actually reason is usually studied in other fields, including cognitive psychology.

Traditionally, logic is studied as a branch of philosophy. Since the mid-1800s logic has been commonly studied in mathematics, and, even more recently, in computer science. As a science, logic investigates and classifies the structure of statements and arguments and devises schemata by which these are codified. The scope of logic can therefore be very large, including reasoning about probability and causality. Also studied in logic are the structure of fallacious arguments and paradoxes. The ancient Greeks divided dialectic into logic and rhetoric. Rhetoric, concerned with persuasive arguments, would currently be seen as contrasted with logic, in some sense, as is dialectic in most of its acquired meanings.

So....reason. Having to do with a person's reasoning. What do you have to say about your reasoning Tony? I have things to say about it. See people, Tony believes that if he is with someone he owns them and they are supposed to forget everything else and be with him nonstop. Basically, he wants someone to put a leash on and show off to everyone and for them to entertain him. If that's not how it is Tony, then tell me how it really is then. You say you are not selfish. Look at what you do to her, and look at what she does to you. What DOES she do to you? She loves you. She picks you up EVERY day. And if you have a few dates written down in which she DIDNT pick you up, SO WHAT. She takes the time out of her life every day to spend time for you. She does what she can to spend time with you. But when she CANNOT do something with you, what do you do? Tell me, Tony. What DO you DO? I'm sure I can tell you. Wether it is what you do EVERY time or not, I'm sure it happens more than once. What Tony does, everyone, is he throws a fit. He gets upset and starts going on about how Miranda doesnt want to be with him and she'd rather do this and that than spend time with him, or that she's excluding him or WHATEVER he can think of the quickest. THAT is what you do Tony. That. And if at all, you find me to be so totally wrong and off my rocker, let me know, cuz I sure as hell want to know the truth. But i'm pretty sure I have the truth here in front of me and I cannot stand you not realizing the truth any longer. This is not against you Rebecca, I barely know you. This is for your son. This is the truth. This is how I feel, this is the way things are and I am sick of it. They have been together for a year and I cannot handle him treating her this way any more. She's not allowed to be my friend? WHY? Because ONE time--ONE FKING TIME I decided that I wanted her to come over and not him. If anyone realizes who he is, they would understand immediately a few reasons as to why I would not want him there. First of all, I was the only chick there. I missed my Miranda. I hadnt hung out with her in a while and I wanted to see her. She was capable of seeing me, but I did not want Tony there because I could see that he was not a good person, and I also knew he would not like any of the people there. And yes, I did want her to get flirted with. I understand that Tony may not like me because of that. That's fine. Because as time has gone on I went from having a crush on this boy who sat with me on the bus to pretty much hating him. Dont get me wrong, if he treated Miranda right I would get along with him just fine, wether he liked me or not. In fact I did get along with him great, I liked him for a long time, even though he cant stand me. The only reason why I liked him though, was because my best friend loves him and cares for him. The rare moments when we were around eachother he would usually split immediately. I was polite, I tried to converse with him but he had no part of it. It's like as if he doesnt even like Miranda when she (wether you know it or not, Tony, she is alot like me) acts like herself. Bubbly, happy, hyper. Even when she is mad, she usually finds enough energy to do a bunch of things. And all i ever know now of her is depressed or stressed. In the minutes where he was not on her mind today, I could see her smile shine. In the eyes..it was the Miranda I remember. But Tony, you remember today. You kept calling her constantly. Concerned with wether she was still with me or not. Where are you. Are you still with her. I skipped class today. Why? Because i'm not logical, i was upset at miranda and skipped because well i dont know really why i just did,/.....probably because he was so angry that Miranda would dare to have a friend. A fking friend. So what if he doesnt like me, she loves me. What I see is her loving him and accepting all the things he does and trying to make everything he wants to do possible, but she has a hard time doing things because he doesnt want to do them. So what! She doesnt always want to do things you do. She doesnt want to sit there and watch you work on a car, wow how exciting. Her friend is having a baby, and she runs up, dropping everything else to go be with her friend. Is that OR IS THAT NOT what any normal person would do? But understand, folks, that Tony doesnt always think LOGICALLY. No, no no. He gets upset that Miranda (AND GINGER TOO MIND YOU, SOMETHING ELSE FOR TONY TO BITCH ABOUT) goes without telling him to Lansing to see her. Uh, yah! At least my lovely friend Miranda knows how to think logically. I think her daddy taught her that. This is how i would think as i'm pretty sure Miranda's thoughts were similar to this: Gotta go see Sarah, I should go get Tony, no, he is in school he cant miss his class, (this is the part she even mentioned to him too) and besides, Ginger is with me and he would just be mad and not want to come because she'll be there and he wont want to be near her at all, and he'll just kill the bright mood everyone is in. (oh sorry, that part was me thinking but then again she might think that, it's not very far from it i'm absolutely sure, tony) SOOO, I'll just go up and see Sarah and everything will be good she'll have the baby and we'll all say "yay" and be happy and i'll come home and Tony will be home or just be getting out of class and ask "how's sarah" and i'll say "yay" and we'll be happy and everyone will be happy end of story. That's how she would have thought. Pretty sure that is how she did think. The day:

Get to Miranda's at 9 something. Tony is calling calling calling as she's in the shower and i'm knocking on the door. she cant hear a damn thing. I know that I could go in and sit down but what if her ma was there, or--oh man, i can see her having a heart attack walking out of the bathroom and me on her couch. That would scare the shit out of her, i wont do that, so eventually she heard the phone answered, Tony of course, who else. She tells him i'm there and he says k, love you bye as though he doesnt want to talk to her because Ginger could taint the phone lines. oooo, eeeeevil and mysterious Ginger, sooo magical she is....so she calls Sarah anyways and oh no, they took her down to delivery twenty minutes ago!! Rush rush out the door, on our way. Tony calls. wah wah wah wah, yell at her some more about stupid shit, bye, curves freeway weee fast car Lansing! Yay, that was fun Miranda i like your fast car. Hospital, Sarah, Tom, his sister, Tony's mom Rebecca. Oh no, I think. But we smiled, thankfully the day is Sarah's, otherwise if it were someone else's then maybe she would have tried to defend someone who does not deserve defending again. La la la, tony tony tony blah blah blah, pretty much I'm so sick of thinking about all the shit he put her through today AS WELL AS all the other shit on all the other days that he has EVER gave her shit----WHICH BY THE WAY, i know is more than just when it comes to ME.

Understand, Tony, you have potential to do many things. You are a strong willed person and besides the fact that in the title of this post I referred to you as stupid, you are intelligent. I never had a problem with you until you laid all your selfish needs down upon her and treating her verrrry BADLY. Yes, Tony, BADLY. Making her think that you dont deserve to live, that you have nothing else to live for other than her, YES tony, that IS treating her badly. Do you KNOW what that does to someone? I dont think you realize that. I've seen someone get blamed for a death, it is wrong and it is torture. That is such a horrible thing, someone you love more than anyone ever before dies, and as you mourn the death people blame you for it. So wrong. They know you had nothing to do with it but they point fingers. Well, you did not die and she did not get blamed for it, but you made her know that if you were to die it would be because of her. Because godforbid you break up. And folks, realize that he told this to her after only like a month of being with her. That was before the incident happened. How can someone treat another person like that? And get so upset because GINGER is with Miranda. Obviously you are aware of some of the truth if you told Miranda that this is how people think, that she isnt allowed to do things and she isnt allowed to have friends and every breath the takes is so that she can keep living long enough to hang out with tony again--not that she's allowed to be away from him for more than four hours without talking to him. Because that is how he is, OBSESSIVE. Define, you say Tony? What is this word?? Get a dictionary. Because that is what you are doing. BEING OBSESSIVE. You act like you own her and she is your slave and that godforbid she do anything without telling you------oh my god tony, her friend is having a baby and you flip out that she didnt call you and tell you she was going up there---my god, you are supposed to be in school. Wether you were or not, you needed to be. Why is she going to call you WHILE YOU ARE IN CLASS to tell you what she is going to do for the very moment. What's Tony's number, Miranda, I want to call him right now and tell him that in five minutes I might have to go to the bathroom, and later today I am going to eat food, and maybe sleep too but I'm not sure yet if I should sleep or write more about the truth. I need his consent, wether i should go back to the apartment or walk around lansing for hours...not that i want to but hah, maybe that's waht he wants me to do. i'm sure he probably wants me to die by now. But, simliar to what you told Miranda today, IT'S THE TRUTH. YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE IT. Which tony, it IS the truth, this is how I feel, this is how EVERYONE sees it, this IS how you treat her, AND IT NEEDS TO STOP. She loves you. The way I see it, you dont love her. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH HER. Wether you are very mature for your age or not, I dont care--I was that too once upon a time and there were still things that were very childish of me. You too. You are still at the point where you are not in love, you are obsessing over her. You think you love her and maybe you do, I cant tell how you feel. But you sure as hell act as though the only thing you are is obsessed. And you need to treat her better, give her (what you THINK you took from her--) her freedom--back. She has a life, she needs to live it, wether you want her to or not. Stop obsessing with her, just love her for loving you if nothing else. Forget that she cant do EVERYTHING you want her to do--because that is how the world works. Not everything can bend the way she bends her life for you.

Hate me or not, as long as you treat her good and she likes you, your cool with me. But until the day comes that you decide to stop your selfish ways and realize that you cannot live in this world without independance, you and I are at war. You've been trying to declair it on me for months and finally I've had enough of you treating my best friend the way you do, so it is official now, even though all this time you have not liked me and i have liked you--not alot, but enough to accept that you are a smart guy who loves my Miranda. But not after today. I am sick of all the shit you do to stress her out beyond belief. She did nothing. All the other times you yelled at her for the dumbest things, SHE DID N-O-T-H-I-N-G WRONG. She does not deserve all the headaches and all the worries and all the sacrifices that you put on her. I have had enough of it, and it is time you wake up from this sick fucking game you are playing and realize that life will be a lot fucking easier for you if you give up trying to control her life and just love her for being Miranda. Cuz I love her, just for being her. She is a free person and she should not be anyone but who she is. I dont want her being the Miranda with a cloud over her head, that's not her. That cloud is you. Let the sun shine, Tony, let her live her life, let her be Miranda, decide wether you love her for being Miranda or not and quit trying to make her do things.

I'll accept you, but only after you decide to treat her the way she needs to be treated. She loves you, she told me today that she likes everything about you--but damn it tony, when you do stupid shit like you did today, everyone swears you are just a child throwing a fit. and you know what they do to kids like that? When the toy is broken and the child brings it to someone pissy and wants them to fix it but doesnt ask just tosses it around and expects it to get fixed because the problem is obvious to the adult--what would you do? Probably not what you should do. Let the child ask you. Otherwise it'll think that anything it wants will be given to it without asking, that it expects you to cater to it always. And that ishow the child will grow up, always thinking that.....who always fixed your toys when they were broken Tony?

Ok, i've been in here for two hours typing non stop. I think it's time to go. Seriously, i opened this window at 4:14 pm my time thing says and what time is it now---6:07. This is what I cannot stop thinking about and I had to say it somewhere. I am so sick of Tony not realizing what he is doing. And if he does know what he is doing, than he is a VERY sick person and needs to be hospitalized...but I really dont think he knows what he is doing. Why else would i write two hours nonstop about the truth for him?

Ginger Marrie

ps. Graduation tomorrow at the wharton, 8pm BE THERE and if you come, come upstairs and see me!!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

hi ginger this is tony. yes i read it and i understand where u r coming from. the part that u r missing is the conversation that me and miranda have privately, probably because she doesnt tell u. so ill tell u what we talk about. For instance we had talked about going together to the hospital no matter what the situation is and i had said id leave school no prob with moms permission and miranda would take us all there,(and yes i wouldnt really want to go for the exact reason u explained why i didnt like u) none the less i am sarahs friend too and still am and i wouldnt have ruined anything because i have enough respect for them not to. but u see ur missing the reason why i get mad, i ask her if whatever we're talking about is fine and she says yes, no or gives her opinion and i listen to it but when she does something against her word i do get mad i feel lied to but ur right i prob get madder than i should and im working on it, and u know what, i do want to be friends with u i just never heard an apology from u when u wanted her to go to the party where u were the only girl and the place was full of drunk guys. cause that was kinda mean, and it seems like u were thinking for miranda wanting to get her flirted with and slightly drunk. im sorry u hate me all of this is really hard on miranda and im basically over that its just if u girls r going to have a girls day out then make it fair because when u girls go and invite or hangout with other guys and i couldnt go then its just not fair to me, i may sound selfish but if i went on a guys night out and then i go to a party or house full of girls and no guys then that would piss miranda off and u, and thats the way i see it. im sorry im selfish with miranda but can u blame i love her and we seem to only have prob when around u so it seems like all the time to u. and yes i do think logically its just, for it to seem logical u have to see all angles of what is going on otherwise it looks bogus. well i hope we will come to something eventually be friends, and im sorry everything seems the way its really not. *Tony*

Anonymous said...

also my reasoning has to deal with previous comments or agreements made by someone, for example if someone said the sky is blue and then the next day said it was green my reasoning would be either they lied to me the first time or they r lieing to me the second time and since the fist time i knew was true, leaves me where i am lied to therefore causing anger and exhilaration, along with stress so that is how i reason and im beginning to learn how to deal with the anger