There once was a girl who was very shy. Then she met this other girl who also was shy, and eventually they both became best friends. Together, they faced the world very bravely. They were afraid of nothing when they had the other beside. They lived very strongly against the evils of the world until one day, this girl was corrupted by an unknown evil when her friend was away. She didn’t know what to do other than to follow these evils. When her friend came back, she had found her friend was lost inside herself. She didn’t know what to do, and tried so many times to bring her back to the good side, but by herself her powers were too weak. She did bring a little good back into this girl, but not enough. Then someone evil took over this girl. And she could do nothing about it. She was stolen from the world; from herself.
The girl one day woke up from a dream. She had dreamt that someone evil had corrupted her friend, and she could do nothing to save her from the evils of the world. Then she realized that she was living her dream, and let her friend know. Then together, the two used their superhuman powers and saved her from the evils that had corrupted her. They were good again, together defeating the evils of the world.
The end…
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Friday, December 17, 2004
NEIL'S CAR
Well, I now HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE Neil's car. I HATE IT!! It failed to take me to Charlotte today, to accomplish all these goals. To talk to Backlund, to visit Miranda, to see Zane Joey Jordan Katelin Mrs. Milarch the ladies in the office...
...and if there, ibzm too...
and visit Marta and give ma and jerry a lesson in computers...
BUT NOOOO...NEIL'S STUPID F*ING CAR WOULDNT START TODAY. I THINK I NEED MY CAR NOW, SO I DONT NEED TO RELY ON SOMETHING SOOOO OLD...(note: the car is 18--my age)
GRRR....MY CAR IS NOT THAT OLD, IT IS LIKE ELEVEN OR TWELVE YEARS OLD--Ok, that is old but to me saying the year doesnt sound old. 1991. Ok, so it's 13...But damn it, 1991 was not that long ago at all! I guess that is when you start getting old, when you can say something like that--"the car is young...1991...13 years old isnt young for a car but 1991 isnt that long ago..." well anyways, my point i'm gettinga at is that I HATE NEIL'S CAR because it refused to take me to Charlotte today. Instead it decided to be sick. Come ON, CAR!! You dont have to be sick when I need you! If you have handled being outside all this time before, you can do it now. I think you're just faking, looking for attention. I bet that TOMORROW you'll start up just fine. Stupid car, I HATE YOU!! Thanks for RUINING MY DAY!!
...and if there, ibzm too...
and visit Marta and give ma and jerry a lesson in computers...
BUT NOOOO...NEIL'S STUPID F*ING CAR WOULDNT START TODAY. I THINK I NEED MY CAR NOW, SO I DONT NEED TO RELY ON SOMETHING SOOOO OLD...(note: the car is 18--my age)
GRRR....MY CAR IS NOT THAT OLD, IT IS LIKE ELEVEN OR TWELVE YEARS OLD--Ok, that is old but to me saying the year doesnt sound old. 1991. Ok, so it's 13...But damn it, 1991 was not that long ago at all! I guess that is when you start getting old, when you can say something like that--"the car is young...1991...13 years old isnt young for a car but 1991 isnt that long ago..." well anyways, my point i'm gettinga at is that I HATE NEIL'S CAR because it refused to take me to Charlotte today. Instead it decided to be sick. Come ON, CAR!! You dont have to be sick when I need you! If you have handled being outside all this time before, you can do it now. I think you're just faking, looking for attention. I bet that TOMORROW you'll start up just fine. Stupid car, I HATE YOU!! Thanks for RUINING MY DAY!!
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Tv Production Final
Well, I didnt think about it. Not until just now did I think of it. It must have been good luck. It may be true that I did not study barely at all for this final...dont yell at me yet you havent heard the whole story.
Today: woke up around the time I should have been stepping out of my shower. Got around, caught the late bus. I got to morning class unshowered and ten minutes late. We did nothing in there again, as usual. Discussed Hungry Howie's Pizza for tomorrow. Did a few things of my own in photoshop, class over.
Got on first bus--I missed the 10:05 bus--my lady with the long curly hair who is very bubbly. So I caught the guy who is loud and very timley. Blah nothing happens, fast forward button, got off bus, trudge trudge, fast forward, took shower ate and FINALLY got all five tests from tv class around to look at. At about 11:40--(like twenty minutes after beginning of study) I decided I should get going. But I didnt end up leaving until about 12:15. Packed up tv book and tests and caught Scott's bus. Ah, my Scott who always reassures me. Makes me feel better. He told me I'd do fine. So I got to school at 12:30 and went to the computer lab like I always do. And there I stayed, not studying, until 1:05 pm.
I marched my way down the stairs. Mike was supposed to watch us do the exams because Dave is in Chicago. So he told me to go to room 44, went there, everyone was happy and talkitive. While waiting for the rest of class to show, Woody--the careless guy until there's a test then he panics cuz he doesnt know any of the stuff--asked us all one question about which mics are the most used and the answer we all decided on was capacitors and magnetics.
Then we all got our commercials back--and then we watched them. HA HA HA HAA... Wow I was the star of the class, that's what Joe told me. Which was true, I was in like every other one. There were only a couple that looked like real commercials, too. Tammy's. Her's was excellent. But anyways moving on. Got the exam...EEK is what we all said. Well not me, I am never afraid to have a test thrown out in front of me. I just act like maybe i am because everyone else does. Well, maybe only a test from French class was I afraid of. Why, I remember once...no i'll tell that later...
25 questions of multiple choice, and a million fill in the blanks. Oh, I was so happy to know that there were no essay questions because I have a hard time explaining the whole depth of field in relation to f-stop and blah blah blah...I may understand it but not well enough to explain it. So anyways, I know I got at least 25 multiple choice questions right, which is 25 points. The test was 200 points. So I know I got that. But there were a few that I didnt know, that were two pointers, but not enough of them to add up and cause a problem. I say I probably got like 80% right, or more. Definately not less. I KNOW I got at least 85% on my audio. Probably more like 99% because that thing was sooo easy. So was this one, but not nearly as EEEASY as my audio final.
Well anyways, I was not the last to leave today. There were three others in there when I left. There were hm let's see 10 total that showed up for the final. I believe there was 12 of us.
Well, now I must be off to go watch my commercials again. And what else to do?? Dwell on tomorrow, and the possibilities. I hate and love December...
Today: woke up around the time I should have been stepping out of my shower. Got around, caught the late bus. I got to morning class unshowered and ten minutes late. We did nothing in there again, as usual. Discussed Hungry Howie's Pizza for tomorrow. Did a few things of my own in photoshop, class over.
Got on first bus--I missed the 10:05 bus--my lady with the long curly hair who is very bubbly. So I caught the guy who is loud and very timley. Blah nothing happens, fast forward button, got off bus, trudge trudge, fast forward, took shower ate and FINALLY got all five tests from tv class around to look at. At about 11:40--(like twenty minutes after beginning of study) I decided I should get going. But I didnt end up leaving until about 12:15. Packed up tv book and tests and caught Scott's bus. Ah, my Scott who always reassures me. Makes me feel better. He told me I'd do fine. So I got to school at 12:30 and went to the computer lab like I always do. And there I stayed, not studying, until 1:05 pm.
I marched my way down the stairs. Mike was supposed to watch us do the exams because Dave is in Chicago. So he told me to go to room 44, went there, everyone was happy and talkitive. While waiting for the rest of class to show, Woody--the careless guy until there's a test then he panics cuz he doesnt know any of the stuff--asked us all one question about which mics are the most used and the answer we all decided on was capacitors and magnetics.
Then we all got our commercials back--and then we watched them. HA HA HA HAA... Wow I was the star of the class, that's what Joe told me. Which was true, I was in like every other one. There were only a couple that looked like real commercials, too. Tammy's. Her's was excellent. But anyways moving on. Got the exam...EEK is what we all said. Well not me, I am never afraid to have a test thrown out in front of me. I just act like maybe i am because everyone else does. Well, maybe only a test from French class was I afraid of. Why, I remember once...no i'll tell that later...
25 questions of multiple choice, and a million fill in the blanks. Oh, I was so happy to know that there were no essay questions because I have a hard time explaining the whole depth of field in relation to f-stop and blah blah blah...I may understand it but not well enough to explain it. So anyways, I know I got at least 25 multiple choice questions right, which is 25 points. The test was 200 points. So I know I got that. But there were a few that I didnt know, that were two pointers, but not enough of them to add up and cause a problem. I say I probably got like 80% right, or more. Definately not less. I KNOW I got at least 85% on my audio. Probably more like 99% because that thing was sooo easy. So was this one, but not nearly as EEEASY as my audio final.
Well anyways, I was not the last to leave today. There were three others in there when I left. There were hm let's see 10 total that showed up for the final. I believe there was 12 of us.
Well, now I must be off to go watch my commercials again. And what else to do?? Dwell on tomorrow, and the possibilities. I hate and love December...
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Last Week Before Break
Well, here I am, it is the end of the semester at LCC. This week has been dull. Monday, study for Audio final. Tuesday, Audio final. Wednesday, not thinking at all. I was going to get some things for late holiday shopping, but now I am late on that. Ugh, life sucks sucks sucks...
Friday though, I am looking forward to. Oh I forgot to tell you that Thursday I have TV final, blah. But FRIDAY...Friday has so much potential. You dont understand. Nobody seems to. But nevermind if you get it or not, I do and that's all that matters. I am going to the high school on Friday asap after I get out of my morning class. And i will be there for the rest of the school day. I cant wait until Friday!!
I might even get to see my Miranda, which she might help me in the end anyways if I do see her. She'll set me straight. I love you Miranda. I cant wait for Friday!! Going to Charlotte!!
Friday though, I am looking forward to. Oh I forgot to tell you that Thursday I have TV final, blah. But FRIDAY...Friday has so much potential. You dont understand. Nobody seems to. But nevermind if you get it or not, I do and that's all that matters. I am going to the high school on Friday asap after I get out of my morning class. And i will be there for the rest of the school day. I cant wait until Friday!!
I might even get to see my Miranda, which she might help me in the end anyways if I do see her. She'll set me straight. I love you Miranda. I cant wait for Friday!! Going to Charlotte!!
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Audio Final
Ach... In record time...no, actually would you believe me if I told you that I was the LAST person to leave? I turned in my final second to last, right before that one guy did. He gave it to us at 1:22 pm, and I got out of there at 1:40 pm. 50 questions. It was très simple!! Ach, now if my tv production final will be that easy I will be so happy!!
Which, by the way--those two questions that were driving me mad because I could never remember them but finally made myself memorize them?? They were on the final. Yep. Phantom power IS 48 volts DC, and the velocity of sound at sea level, 70 degrees F IS 1,130 feet per second. GO GINGER! GGRR
Which, by the way--those two questions that were driving me mad because I could never remember them but finally made myself memorize them?? They were on the final. Yep. Phantom power IS 48 volts DC, and the velocity of sound at sea level, 70 degrees F IS 1,130 feet per second. GO GINGER! GGRR
Follow Me
For those of you out there who are listening to everything I say, hear me now. Do as I ask of you, for the better of the world. And so if you dont do EVERYTHING I tell you to do, at least do these two things every day:
Be kind to someone you do not know. It may make their day better, and influence them to do the same.
Something The SHEIM taught me: "Do something every day that scares you." It was a quote from a movie I believe...but that's not important. What is important is that we improve upon ourselves by doing this. Now I dont mean go put yourself in prison, that may be scary but that's not what is meant. It means to do something bold and good that you may have been too shy to do. Be brave, be courageous. Actually, I think that courage is better than bravery. Because bravery can get you into trouble sometimes, but courage is always a good thing. So do something that nobody else wanted to do, because they were too shy or they didnt want to stand out.
Improve upon yourself and you will make the whole world better.
Thank you for following me.
Be kind to someone you do not know. It may make their day better, and influence them to do the same.
Something The SHEIM taught me: "Do something every day that scares you." It was a quote from a movie I believe...but that's not important. What is important is that we improve upon ourselves by doing this. Now I dont mean go put yourself in prison, that may be scary but that's not what is meant. It means to do something bold and good that you may have been too shy to do. Be brave, be courageous. Actually, I think that courage is better than bravery. Because bravery can get you into trouble sometimes, but courage is always a good thing. So do something that nobody else wanted to do, because they were too shy or they didnt want to stand out.
Improve upon yourself and you will make the whole world better.
Thank you for following me.
Scott Peterson's time has come
WILX | Jury Recommends Execution for Peterson
I am glad to know that this is finally over. This is just like the Oj thing back when I was a kid, only this time I'm old enough to form my own opinion on it. Death by injection.
I am glad to know that this is finally over. This is just like the Oj thing back when I was a kid, only this time I'm old enough to form my own opinion on it. Death by injection.
Monday, December 13, 2004
Down with the Sickness
For those of you who donno...I like cats. Meow meow meow...I love my pretty little boy Killer. I miss him...he's getting fat...
but i'm getting off topic. Yes, I love my four pretty tennessee cats. I miss miss miss them all, not just my Killer. But yeah yesterday and Saturday at the Lansing Center I heard on the news that there was a cat show there. So I wanted to go. But not by myself.
I went there yesterday, and there were so many pretty felines...(no, li'l boy, none NEARLY as pretty as you...) But it was so hot in there. I felt sorry for the cats, especially the ones that were so fluffy and puffy. A couple even had fans in their things! Blame it on the heat, you may hear me blame it on the shoes i was wearing, blame it on my breakfast... or you can try to say i'm allergic to cats--I'm not allergic to cats you know. Otherwise I would not have my pretty boy. But well maybe it was a mixture of things, but I started getting real dizzy. Everything got really bright, and I had difficulty walking straight. I got home and let the dizziness take over, I laid down and passed out.
I dont know what it was, but I didnt get to see as much of the cat show as i wanted. Well, at least I will always have mes chats to go see at home if I really want to see cats. And a bonus: not only is it free to see those cats, I can also mall them.
but i'm getting off topic. Yes, I love my four pretty tennessee cats. I miss miss miss them all, not just my Killer. But yeah yesterday and Saturday at the Lansing Center I heard on the news that there was a cat show there. So I wanted to go. But not by myself.
I went there yesterday, and there were so many pretty felines...(no, li'l boy, none NEARLY as pretty as you...) But it was so hot in there. I felt sorry for the cats, especially the ones that were so fluffy and puffy. A couple even had fans in their things! Blame it on the heat, you may hear me blame it on the shoes i was wearing, blame it on my breakfast... or you can try to say i'm allergic to cats--I'm not allergic to cats you know. Otherwise I would not have my pretty boy. But well maybe it was a mixture of things, but I started getting real dizzy. Everything got really bright, and I had difficulty walking straight. I got home and let the dizziness take over, I laid down and passed out.
I dont know what it was, but I didnt get to see as much of the cat show as i wanted. Well, at least I will always have mes chats to go see at home if I really want to see cats. And a bonus: not only is it free to see those cats, I can also mall them.
Friday, December 10, 2004
Disorganized
How many times will I reorder the day's events before I get through the day?? Too many! Today I woke up with a plan...a very long day it was to be. I was to go to class in the morning, do my project immediately after class--I had the lab reserved from 10-2. I knew I would not need all that lab time so I told Mike I would be the female actor he needed. He wanted me to be there at one thirty.
While I was in class, I was looking over my directions and realized that I needed analog tape--something I had left at home. SO...I went and rescheduled the lab for two to four. Went home, got food, blabed with Neil who was acting weird today...came back to school. I figured I'd get the footage done with Mike for his film final in that half hour...WRONG!! Never believe something will only take a short amount of time when it comes to making things in "tv land"...he told me that his other actor would not be here until two. SO, I am to do my project as scheduled today, in ten minutes...and when I get out find him somewhere in the building. Dont worry, it's not too big of a building. And besides, I like easter egg hunts!! Especially when it's a lot harder than your childish game...
So, I tell thee now...this day has been such a mess. But in the end, it should all work out. I should get ALMOST everything done that I was supposed to do. Other than going and turning in my form I will have accomplished everything. Which I might even be able to get it in there before they close at five...and then I will have accomplished everything...YES!!
While I was in class, I was looking over my directions and realized that I needed analog tape--something I had left at home. SO...I went and rescheduled the lab for two to four. Went home, got food, blabed with Neil who was acting weird today...came back to school. I figured I'd get the footage done with Mike for his film final in that half hour...WRONG!! Never believe something will only take a short amount of time when it comes to making things in "tv land"...he told me that his other actor would not be here until two. SO, I am to do my project as scheduled today, in ten minutes...and when I get out find him somewhere in the building. Dont worry, it's not too big of a building. And besides, I like easter egg hunts!! Especially when it's a lot harder than your childish game...
So, I tell thee now...this day has been such a mess. But in the end, it should all work out. I should get ALMOST everything done that I was supposed to do. Other than going and turning in my form I will have accomplished everything. Which I might even be able to get it in there before they close at five...and then I will have accomplished everything...YES!!
photoSHOPPE
La la la la la... it goes around the world just la la la la la...and everybody's singin' la la la la la...
Photoshop is so very nifty. I was really complaining about this class for a long time because in our freetime he expects us to do fake things like make stupid fake backgrounds that would never happen in reality...
but today, we are doing something somewhere in the realm of reality. We are to make something that would not be possible in real life, and make it look like it really happened. I will put mine up when I am done with it, for you to understand what I am talking about later...
And for those of you dont pick up on hints easily, Aaron is gone to Mexico now. Sailing away with his brother and friend. *sigh* It's really depressing me. So now you all know why I am depressed, so you dont have to assume anything. It's because of Aaron, sorry to disappoint you, but it's not because of you.
Photoshop is so very nifty. I was really complaining about this class for a long time because in our freetime he expects us to do fake things like make stupid fake backgrounds that would never happen in reality...
but today, we are doing something somewhere in the realm of reality. We are to make something that would not be possible in real life, and make it look like it really happened. I will put mine up when I am done with it, for you to understand what I am talking about later...
And for those of you dont pick up on hints easily, Aaron is gone to Mexico now. Sailing away with his brother and friend. *sigh* It's really depressing me. So now you all know why I am depressed, so you dont have to assume anything. It's because of Aaron, sorry to disappoint you, but it's not because of you.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Practical Exams
Practical exams are not the most frightning things in class...but if even I am here saying that, why are my hands still trembling, a little over an hour after I took it??
Last Tuesday, I had my practical exam for Audio class. It was très simple. I got a 47 out of 50 on it. I did one thing wrong: instead of patching into the audio mixer I patched directly to a channel. Which I knew, I just wasnt thinking clearly--I was trying to do it in the 30 minute slot that we were alotted. Which when I went to go get him to tell him I was done, he said "in record time? wow..." It took me twenty minutes to do. Now that I think about it, he did say that it takes him 30 minutes to do it so that's why he expects us to do it in 30 minutes. That surprizes me! I remember when I did a project, it took me like 90 minutes to do it, then I had to do it over cuz something i knew wasnt right with it. After he showed me what i did wrong to it, I redid it and it only took me a total of 15 minutes to do...crazy.
So today, I had my tv class practical exam. 2:40. Turned out a little later than it should have been because something was slowing him down. So I got in and did it perfect, there was only one problem: the break command for the floor director...if i had known that I would probably have gotten 100 though i dont know as he would be so giving, he probably would have gave me a 98 just cuz nobody gets a 100...i donno... well anyways yeah if I would have remembered that one--make the motion of breaking something like a stick...now i will never forget it...
But alas, for the worst is not yet over...i have to take the EXAMS next week. Tuesday for audio, Thursday for tv...AAAH!
Last Tuesday, I had my practical exam for Audio class. It was très simple. I got a 47 out of 50 on it. I did one thing wrong: instead of patching into the audio mixer I patched directly to a channel. Which I knew, I just wasnt thinking clearly--I was trying to do it in the 30 minute slot that we were alotted. Which when I went to go get him to tell him I was done, he said "in record time? wow..." It took me twenty minutes to do. Now that I think about it, he did say that it takes him 30 minutes to do it so that's why he expects us to do it in 30 minutes. That surprizes me! I remember when I did a project, it took me like 90 minutes to do it, then I had to do it over cuz something i knew wasnt right with it. After he showed me what i did wrong to it, I redid it and it only took me a total of 15 minutes to do...crazy.
So today, I had my tv class practical exam. 2:40. Turned out a little later than it should have been because something was slowing him down. So I got in and did it perfect, there was only one problem: the break command for the floor director...if i had known that I would probably have gotten 100 though i dont know as he would be so giving, he probably would have gave me a 98 just cuz nobody gets a 100...i donno... well anyways yeah if I would have remembered that one--make the motion of breaking something like a stick...now i will never forget it...
But alas, for the worst is not yet over...i have to take the EXAMS next week. Tuesday for audio, Thursday for tv...AAAH!
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Song that means much
Wish You Were Here
by Incubus
I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
Pretend that I am weightless
And in this moment I am happy...happy
I wish you were hereI lay my head into the sand
The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it
I'm counting UFO's
I signal them with my lighter
And in this moment I am happy...happy
I wish you were here
The world's a roller coaster and I am not strapped in
Maybe I should hold with care but my hands are busy in the air
And now we all know why Ginger hates Mexico...and the ocean...
by Incubus
I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
Pretend that I am weightless
And in this moment I am happy...happy
I wish you were hereI lay my head into the sand
The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it
I'm counting UFO's
I signal them with my lighter
And in this moment I am happy...happy
I wish you were here
The world's a roller coaster and I am not strapped in
Maybe I should hold with care but my hands are busy in the air
And now we all know why Ginger hates Mexico...and the ocean...
I hate you I love you I am so lost
You irritate the hell out of me. I want to just choke you and pretend I never met you. Why do you gotta be you?
I swear, if there wasnt Miranda and if there wasnt Marta for me to tell everyone that they are my reflection, I would say you are that reflection. And I think you may match it closer than Miranda even does. Wow... now that's something to beat. One problem though--I'm sick of you and everyone else. You people are driving me farther off this cliff than i am already gone. Hm, I dont think that made much sense...
AAAAHHH!!! Someone save me from the mad rush of whispers on a breeze coming to get me!! Each one wants me to do something different...but what can I do? which one should i follow?? AAH! I dont know!!! They're coming to get me!!
I swear, if there wasnt Miranda and if there wasnt Marta for me to tell everyone that they are my reflection, I would say you are that reflection. And I think you may match it closer than Miranda even does. Wow... now that's something to beat. One problem though--I'm sick of you and everyone else. You people are driving me farther off this cliff than i am already gone. Hm, I dont think that made much sense...
AAAAHHH!!! Someone save me from the mad rush of whispers on a breeze coming to get me!! Each one wants me to do something different...but what can I do? which one should i follow?? AAH! I dont know!!! They're coming to get me!!
Friday, December 03, 2004
WTF/Recap
Ok, today I was told to stop typing in class or I will get sent back to Charlotte in January. Which is crap, because I am clicking more than typing--it's a fellow student who is constantly typing on their blog and so when I type in something as short as my email, he assumes I am doing the same. Ugh, so yeah yesterday in TV class we finally finished all the commercials. They were great. And today after I get out of class--ugh what a busy day--I have to go to Charlotte to see Mr. Backlund about LCC blah blah blah...then we are going to grandma's afterwards. Yesterday night I was talking to Jordan and so apparantly (as usual) someone made plans for Ginger that she was unaware of!! It's ok, I dont mind it at all. Unless it's something that I hate doing. But this isnt, so YAY i get to have a good weekend to balance out the awful week i had. Although I dont know if anything could really balance out all that bull.
In other news, ma and jerry came up yesterday to see us, ma figured out what pictures she wanted of me (my senior pictures) and hm, not much else really happened when they were here. That I can think of anyways. OOh, she got 5 x 7's of Jessica for us. That whole thing still shocks me, that she is so excited about her pictures...
Well anyways...yeah that's about it for the recap of the last week-at least, the edited part.
In other news, ma and jerry came up yesterday to see us, ma figured out what pictures she wanted of me (my senior pictures) and hm, not much else really happened when they were here. That I can think of anyways. OOh, she got 5 x 7's of Jessica for us. That whole thing still shocks me, that she is so excited about her pictures...
Well anyways...yeah that's about it for the recap of the last week-at least, the edited part.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Blah
I havent been getting alot of sleep lately. Nor have I been eating well. I really am hungry. Ginger is never hungry, but right now she is. I didnt get to eat breakfast AGAIN today...that would make EVERY day this week that I didnt get to eat until 11:00. Ugh...and also I just want to go away. I am tired. I am hungry. I am angry at the world, and flustrated by Aaron. I guess YOU were right by telling me I wouldnt see him for a long time. Let it be known to YOU, though that just because he's gone doesnt mean YOU have a chance. So get over me.
As for the rest of things, well, Miranda and I are talking again. She was there to help calm me down, because the mad side of me was loose. I should have been in a white straightjacket to keep myself from myself but well anyways...I guess she only encouraged the mental side, as did Marta. Luckily Aaron brought reality to me--because I couldnt go to it. I had lost it. Dont worry, I'm here now. I just am concerned about what I might do around the holiday, because I only have a few choices: go crazy from..."blindness"; do what I fear to do; or else do something very bad to keep myself from doing what I am not only afraid to do, but part of me has always wanted to do--even though it is something that will always be with me both haunting me and a good memory...
Ugh, people...
p.s. I still hate you, Hprk...
As for the rest of things, well, Miranda and I are talking again. She was there to help calm me down, because the mad side of me was loose. I should have been in a white straightjacket to keep myself from myself but well anyways...I guess she only encouraged the mental side, as did Marta. Luckily Aaron brought reality to me--because I couldnt go to it. I had lost it. Dont worry, I'm here now. I just am concerned about what I might do around the holiday, because I only have a few choices: go crazy from..."blindness"; do what I fear to do; or else do something very bad to keep myself from doing what I am not only afraid to do, but part of me has always wanted to do--even though it is something that will always be with me both haunting me and a good memory...
Ugh, people...
p.s. I still hate you, Hprk...
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT
I am so sick of all of you. I used to wake up in the morning thinking that something could go right that day. I used to be able to wake up in the morning happy. I used to be a morning person.
But not today. Today I woke up in reality. That all of you hate me. That all of you are watching me fall. That YOU, Hprk and YOU, IBZM, and YOU...all of you are ruining my life. It's not just you two that are doing this. More of you are out there i just refuse to mention your names. Because I care about you enough to not tell the world that you are ruining my life. But wether I mention it or not, YOU ARE. I hate you all. Yeah, that's right...I hate you ALL. You had to ruin my day. I like to wake up in the morning with some hope for the day, but when I wake up to this world that you have put me in, I find there is no hope. Because of YOU, HPRK-- I'm having an aweful day. And the thing is: my day just started! You really know how to brainwash someone. Just like Terry. I cannot talk to you, I must run the other way. I must not let your lies seep into my brain...but when you AND j tell me all the same things...I just want to prove you both wrong...because i know YOU ARE WRONG.
And by the way, I hate you.
But not today. Today I woke up in reality. That all of you hate me. That all of you are watching me fall. That YOU, Hprk and YOU, IBZM, and YOU...all of you are ruining my life. It's not just you two that are doing this. More of you are out there i just refuse to mention your names. Because I care about you enough to not tell the world that you are ruining my life. But wether I mention it or not, YOU ARE. I hate you all. Yeah, that's right...I hate you ALL. You had to ruin my day. I like to wake up in the morning with some hope for the day, but when I wake up to this world that you have put me in, I find there is no hope. Because of YOU, HPRK-- I'm having an aweful day. And the thing is: my day just started! You really know how to brainwash someone. Just like Terry. I cannot talk to you, I must run the other way. I must not let your lies seep into my brain...but when you AND j tell me all the same things...I just want to prove you both wrong...because i know YOU ARE WRONG.
And by the way, I hate you.
Monday, November 29, 2004
Killing Me Softly
Right now...I hate you all. I may not hate you all--LATER--but right now, I do. You are all out to get me and you are all waiting and watching for me to screw up. And every time I trip you are there laughing. I may not hear you laughing, and keep marching on--but I know you laugh at me. You all hate me. I swear that that is all you are here to do: screw my life up when things start going right. YOU, Hprk, are one of these people. Just like IBZM, only you are worse cuz you know where to find me. And plus, I dont think IBZM is out to get me--only when he sees he can screw something up does he do it. He doesnt go out of his way like YOU do. And another thing is, I at least know when to expect him. Winter is when I am used to him ruining things. But YOU, I dont know anything about when YOU will come along and try to screw my life up more than I have screwed it up.
Thank you for hating me world. I hate you too.
Thank you for hating me world. I hate you too.
Dont Lead and Dont Follow
If you lead I will not follow.
Stay behind I will not go.
I want to walk beside you as a friend.
Why must some people always believe that THEY should be the leader, or that YOU should walk ahead? I hate that. Even the "curtousy" of being a woman is disturbing to me: because I am a woman people let me walk out in front when two cannot walk side by side. I dont like that. No. I like the whole thing of whoever is one step ahead of the other in the last moment goes first. Yeah. That's how it should be.
I was thinking about something else when I quoted that, but right now I dont remember the original reasoning for it... So I will leave you with that, more later...
Stay behind I will not go.
I want to walk beside you as a friend.
Why must some people always believe that THEY should be the leader, or that YOU should walk ahead? I hate that. Even the "curtousy" of being a woman is disturbing to me: because I am a woman people let me walk out in front when two cannot walk side by side. I dont like that. No. I like the whole thing of whoever is one step ahead of the other in the last moment goes first. Yeah. That's how it should be.
I was thinking about something else when I quoted that, but right now I dont remember the original reasoning for it... So I will leave you with that, more later...
Friday, November 26, 2004
Thanksgiving
OK, so it's not Thanksgiving anymore. It's the day after. But so what? I'm gonna pretend it's Thanksgiving for a moment so get over it...
On this Thanksgiving, I am thankful to have my Miranda back. I'm glad to know she never threw me off her list. Everyone seems to think that I should just forget her or that it is time to get a new friend or blah blah blah... and I was getting so sick of hearing it every time I told them what was going on between us. But yayayayayay!! Now we've been talking better. It's not like it was, but the point is: we're going back up after a year of being in the negatives. So this Thanksgiving, everyone be happy for what they HAVE and not dwell on what they dont have...
...like what I dont have--Texas in my back pocket...I MISS YOU!!!!
On this Thanksgiving, I am thankful to have my Miranda back. I'm glad to know she never threw me off her list. Everyone seems to think that I should just forget her or that it is time to get a new friend or blah blah blah... and I was getting so sick of hearing it every time I told them what was going on between us. But yayayayayay!! Now we've been talking better. It's not like it was, but the point is: we're going back up after a year of being in the negatives. So this Thanksgiving, everyone be happy for what they HAVE and not dwell on what they dont have...
...like what I dont have--Texas in my back pocket...I MISS YOU!!!!
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
ARE YOU LOST??
For all of you who dont know what the hell is going on when you read my blog, I tell you now:
Miranda and I are not getting along. She seems to think that because i'm "not Ginger" anymore, she cant be my friend. Or is it because her boyfriend Tony doesnt like me that she cant be my friend anymore?...
well i dont know the reasoning, but she is being a b***h to me lately, and because she doesnt like to talk to me anymore, i turn to you: my blog. She has a blog too, though she is barely on it, but lately she has been using it to rage back at me because she'd rather the whole world know and have a one person argument for 20 minutes, than to BOTHER to call me and tell me all that she is thinkng. Even though i would much perfer to the face. But anyways...
To hear the other side of the story, make your way to her blog, then maybe you'll know a little more than what i give you.
www.randas.blogspot.com
...thank you and have a nice day...
Miranda and I are not getting along. She seems to think that because i'm "not Ginger" anymore, she cant be my friend. Or is it because her boyfriend Tony doesnt like me that she cant be my friend anymore?...
well i dont know the reasoning, but she is being a b***h to me lately, and because she doesnt like to talk to me anymore, i turn to you: my blog. She has a blog too, though she is barely on it, but lately she has been using it to rage back at me because she'd rather the whole world know and have a one person argument for 20 minutes, than to BOTHER to call me and tell me all that she is thinkng. Even though i would much perfer to the face. But anyways...
To hear the other side of the story, make your way to her blog, then maybe you'll know a little more than what i give you.
www.randas.blogspot.com
...thank you and have a nice day...
FRIENDS
How do you know if someone is your friend? You dont. You never do. I myself never trusted anyone. On rare occasion. All because of one person that taught me in seventh grade not to trust everyone so openly. So i made a friend that i had a hard time trusting in the beginning, but eventually i did trust them. and for a long time they were the only person i did trust. They taught me that not everyone cannot be trusted, there are select few that can be trusted. I had started trusting more and more people again, but not alot. Then someone in my life was so offended that i didnt trust them like they trusted me--i barely knew him-- and then when i did give him my trust he gave me a reason not to trust him. why would he expect me to trust him and then disrespect me like that?
but that's not my focal point in this post. No, no. This one's about You, Miranda. Yes. How you had my trust for so long. But now that you have disrespected me, i dont know how to trust you anymore. For all i know, you may have stopped trusting me (or partially) in freshman year. But we wont dwell on freshman year. I know i did wrong. I admit that openly. And for a long time, you WERE right about it all. I know i made alot of it up in my little head, but eventually it became true--wether you knew it or not, it did become reality. But wait--i said i wouldnt dwell on freshman year...
I used to trust you so much. I had nobody else to trust. Because nobody else was worthy of it. Nobody understood me like you did. But now you are going around telling people i'm crazy and i'm "not the Ginger I used to know"; you wont even defend me when i'm not around anymore. I still love you enough to defend you when you're gone. Which does happen alot it seems. Someone told me i shouldnt be doing it for you, if you cant do that for me. Because apparantly you dont even like me anymore. I'm too "crazy". I'm "not Ginger anymore".
Things happen that make us. Some people dont give their opinion maybe because they were in trouble for doing it when they were younger. Some people are afraid of germs because their parents were always sick and always cleaning everything and avoiding germy places like this discusting keyboard i'm typing on. (note to self: wash hands when leaving the computer lab) Like me: i never used to be afraid to give my opinion freely. I tried hard not to offend people when giving it sometimes but after you know who, I'm terrifyed to give it. I have an opinion, but it's not free anymore, it has a price. If wanted, it may as well be asked for because I'm too afraid something may get thrown near me or someone may punch something non-living because of it.
But here i am, telling you what i think. Maybe that's because you're nowhere near me to throw things at me or scream at me. Or then again, maybe it's because i know that you and i need to argue. Otherwise, this will never get out of the way and we'll never be friends again. Why else do you think i keep antagonizing you? Because you need to say what has been in that glass bottle inside you. It's time to get out the bottle opener, let's shake it up and see how much comes out. Because eventually it will go stale and someone will come along and instead of opening it and letting it out, it will get thrown away and never remembered.
You cant just not like me because Tony or Sarah dont like me. So what if they dont like me? That doesnt mean that because you are their friends that you have to remove me from your list. Everyone has their own list, Miranda. You dont have to remove any of your friends off of there just because someone tells you that that person doesnt make THEIR list.
But i KNOW that that's just a cover story, that's not the real reason why you are being so snoody to me. This was going on a year ago. And back then, I dont think you knew Tony, or at least didnt talk to him as much as I did. Back then, he still liked me! He was still sitting in my heat seat, where NOBODY ELSE was permitted to sit. It was either Tony or nobody who sat with me. I would share my heater with no one else. Tony is cool. Dont get me wrong, i just dont know what he has against me.
So it has to be YOURS AND MY PROBLEM, it has nothing to do with all the people you are trying to tie into it. It is only Miranda's and Ginger's problem that they need to get through, it has nothing to do with Sarah, and nothing to do with Tony. They may have only made it worse.
but that's not my focal point in this post. No, no. This one's about You, Miranda. Yes. How you had my trust for so long. But now that you have disrespected me, i dont know how to trust you anymore. For all i know, you may have stopped trusting me (or partially) in freshman year. But we wont dwell on freshman year. I know i did wrong. I admit that openly. And for a long time, you WERE right about it all. I know i made alot of it up in my little head, but eventually it became true--wether you knew it or not, it did become reality. But wait--i said i wouldnt dwell on freshman year...
I used to trust you so much. I had nobody else to trust. Because nobody else was worthy of it. Nobody understood me like you did. But now you are going around telling people i'm crazy and i'm "not the Ginger I used to know"; you wont even defend me when i'm not around anymore. I still love you enough to defend you when you're gone. Which does happen alot it seems. Someone told me i shouldnt be doing it for you, if you cant do that for me. Because apparantly you dont even like me anymore. I'm too "crazy". I'm "not Ginger anymore".
Things happen that make us. Some people dont give their opinion maybe because they were in trouble for doing it when they were younger. Some people are afraid of germs because their parents were always sick and always cleaning everything and avoiding germy places like this discusting keyboard i'm typing on. (note to self: wash hands when leaving the computer lab) Like me: i never used to be afraid to give my opinion freely. I tried hard not to offend people when giving it sometimes but after you know who, I'm terrifyed to give it. I have an opinion, but it's not free anymore, it has a price. If wanted, it may as well be asked for because I'm too afraid something may get thrown near me or someone may punch something non-living because of it.
But here i am, telling you what i think. Maybe that's because you're nowhere near me to throw things at me or scream at me. Or then again, maybe it's because i know that you and i need to argue. Otherwise, this will never get out of the way and we'll never be friends again. Why else do you think i keep antagonizing you? Because you need to say what has been in that glass bottle inside you. It's time to get out the bottle opener, let's shake it up and see how much comes out. Because eventually it will go stale and someone will come along and instead of opening it and letting it out, it will get thrown away and never remembered.
You cant just not like me because Tony or Sarah dont like me. So what if they dont like me? That doesnt mean that because you are their friends that you have to remove me from your list. Everyone has their own list, Miranda. You dont have to remove any of your friends off of there just because someone tells you that that person doesnt make THEIR list.
But i KNOW that that's just a cover story, that's not the real reason why you are being so snoody to me. This was going on a year ago. And back then, I dont think you knew Tony, or at least didnt talk to him as much as I did. Back then, he still liked me! He was still sitting in my heat seat, where NOBODY ELSE was permitted to sit. It was either Tony or nobody who sat with me. I would share my heater with no one else. Tony is cool. Dont get me wrong, i just dont know what he has against me.
So it has to be YOURS AND MY PROBLEM, it has nothing to do with all the people you are trying to tie into it. It is only Miranda's and Ginger's problem that they need to get through, it has nothing to do with Sarah, and nothing to do with Tony. They may have only made it worse.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Pictures
Well folks, I FINALLY got my senior pictures taken. THAT'S RIIIGHT!! I did them Saturday with my uncle Eric. Though it was cold, we roamed about MSU Campus and found plenty of good places to do some nice photography. I had a good time. I cant wait until Thursday when at Thanksgiving I get to look them over: with grandma's and everyone elses' criticizm. Well at least I can say that I dont spell out the "S" word like Jessica did. Sorry Jessica, but really now: just one picture that would be church friendly would have been nice to show grandma. I hope that my plans all work out, and these pictures will save my life--or just make it worse. We'll see...yes we'll see, precious...mu ha ha ha haaaa!!
Thursday, November 18, 2004
?I LOVE ME? MAYBE NOT MIRANDA!
Easier to Run
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I've kept locked away
No one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they've played
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could
Stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never be a past
Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
A HA HA!!
So now I know the truth. To know is wonderful. Knowing that the sound of your voice is sincere. Knowing that you are not just another evil person like everyone else is. Yes, they are all evil. They all hide themselves from me, keep themselves buried deep under their skin. Why, I dont know. Maybe they are afraid of me. You arent though. Maybe they hide themselves from me because I'm "TOO PSYCHO". And then they all run away from me. Everyone does. Hell, even MIRANDA did. I was too crazy for her to deal with. And Terry too. I was a psycho bitch drama queen. He couldnt handle it. Miranda could only handle it for...HOW MANY YEARS?? Actually, when i had nowhere else to turn, I always had her. Now I dont even have that. ...stupid b*.........
Well my point is, I finally know, after a week of not knowing! I was so depressed and confused, waiting to know, and now I know! You told me yourself, the tone of your voice relaxes me. Oh man, I love it when you sing! I dont think that anything else could come close to how comfortable you make me when you sing. Miss you!!
Well my point is, I finally know, after a week of not knowing! I was so depressed and confused, waiting to know, and now I know! You told me yourself, the tone of your voice relaxes me. Oh man, I love it when you sing! I dont think that anything else could come close to how comfortable you make me when you sing. Miss you!!
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Missing Persons
I realize that everything in my life has to do with the word "where". Where did they all go? Everyone always leaves me. Where are they now? Where are they going? Where were they? And often someone kidnaps me and people wonder where is Ginger? or Where did they take her? Where have you been? Always there is a place, always it is what alot of the answers rely on: where. Want to come with us? Where. No, that's too far away. No Chicago today. WHERE?? No, Mt Pleasant is a long drive. Maybe another day when i have more time to be there. Absence is a wonderful thing, sometimes, if I am the one absent. But it is not cool when loved ones are missing. I find myself saying "where are they?" I will never know that answer.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
OW
I have a headache. I hate having headaches. I cant understand how my brother can handle having them every day. I'd shoot my head off if i had them every day, but that's just me.
I just had a marvelous idea!! For my next birthday, i want someone to give me a cupcake that is made out of McDonald's fries, and frosted with salt and ketchup!!! mmm, i can smell it now...
I just had a marvelous idea!! For my next birthday, i want someone to give me a cupcake that is made out of McDonald's fries, and frosted with salt and ketchup!!! mmm, i can smell it now...
Friday, November 12, 2004
MY COMMERCIAL!!
I DID MY COMMERCIAL YESTERDAY!! MY OK COLA COMMERCIAL!!! It was so awesome! Tammy and Nick and Matt were the talents. It was beautiful... at the end of the class we get to have ALL of the commercials on tape, not just ours. And that's a good thing cuz i'm a talent in most of them. There are some hilarious commercials in there...
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Scents
Some things are symbolic, either to a large group or to one person. For example, the golden arches are a symbol for food that is mmmm....and quick to be served. The colors are supposed to make us feel like we are in and out of there faster than we really are. And we have been raised in a society that defines those beautiful golden arches... I personally desire fries fresh out of the fryer and a Sprite when i see the golden arches towering over everything else.
But that's just the example...mmm, McDonald's... sorry back to my point.
We tend to associate sights and smells and textures to certain things, and some things will always remind us of certain things. Lately I have been smelling certain scents that I have only ever associated with one person or place. Yesterday I swore I could smell my great grandmother's house. And this morning if i had closed my eyes i would have expected to hear my great grandma asking me if i wanted Chicken noodle soup. Her kitchen always had a distinguished smell, much like chicken noodle soup. Another thing: the other day I could smell one of my ex's cologne, which freaked me out because just like all these other scents, I knew were merely my imagination. But what could trigger my brain to believe that it smells such things? I was definately not thinking about them. And i was not out and about, i was at home. So why do things like this happen? I have done this many times before. It just made me really sad to smell my grandma's kitchen and know that I'll never be in that same kitchen with her and that entire atmosphere again.
But that's just the example...mmm, McDonald's... sorry back to my point.
We tend to associate sights and smells and textures to certain things, and some things will always remind us of certain things. Lately I have been smelling certain scents that I have only ever associated with one person or place. Yesterday I swore I could smell my great grandmother's house. And this morning if i had closed my eyes i would have expected to hear my great grandma asking me if i wanted Chicken noodle soup. Her kitchen always had a distinguished smell, much like chicken noodle soup. Another thing: the other day I could smell one of my ex's cologne, which freaked me out because just like all these other scents, I knew were merely my imagination. But what could trigger my brain to believe that it smells such things? I was definately not thinking about them. And i was not out and about, i was at home. So why do things like this happen? I have done this many times before. It just made me really sad to smell my grandma's kitchen and know that I'll never be in that same kitchen with her and that entire atmosphere again.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Life
i was having an alright day today, kinda blah, until i decided to stumble onto Miranda's blog, and since then i've been depressed. I dont really know what to say so i wont say anything. I'll just talk about how some people ruined my life and now i will always be screwed up in the head because of you. Yeah, YOU. But dont get a big head, you're not the only one to blame. No, it's also the people down the road from you. Actually it's mostly their fault. it always has been. But you just added to it, being only a mile away. Hm... so maybe i'll do something you all seem to think i should do but refuse to tell me. i have came close to doing it all on my own, but when someone tells me it, someone who was so close to me for so long, it hits you hard. It's always something to tell it like you see it, but when other people see it the same way, then you arent really imagining it like you always hoped you were. And that's kinda scary cuz alot of my life i believe i have made up. And to be told that something in it that i thought i had just made up is actually real, is frightning. It makes me wonder, what else could be true that i thought was just something i made up? i really want to laugh in YOUR face for never believing me when i told you IT was real. But you chose to glaze everything over for me and tell me it was all made up, that if you cry hard now about it you'll never cry again. But so many times i have recalled the time when i was crying telling you that you were right and i was wrong. I have always looked back on that moment and realized that you WERE NOT RIGHT. I DIDNT MAKE IT UP LIKE YOU THOUGHT I DID. JUST BECAUSE YOU MAY HAVE MADE IT UP WHEN IT HAPPENED TO YOU DOESNT MEAN IT WASNT REAL FOR ME. I will admit, that i know i had to make something up somewhere in there, but eventually, because i chose to believe that it was real for SOOO long, it became real. And they agree. It really is real. So though this started out as a depressed rage, it will end in hope. Knowing that anything can be if you want it to be, you just have to believe with your whole heart that it is true, and that you are not making it up. Eventually the white line of chalk seperating the truth from the world you created will become fuzzy and it will be hard to determine what you made up. And eventually what you once created all in your head will become real.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
RED HEAD/MACS
yayayayayayayayayay!! My hair is red! Not the exact color i wanted it, but it's not brown red!! yayayayay!!!! Just as excited about it as I was when i found out that MICHIGAN WON AGAIN AGAIN YAYAYAYAYAY!! HAHA STUPID MSU YOU SUCK...
SO ANYWAYS... yeah so i did my stupid project in the lab yesterday and it sucked so bad, i couldnt do it. I HATE MACS!! THEY ARE SO STUPID WHAT WITH THEIR STUPID ONE BUTTON MICE AND THEIR FILE EDIT WINDOW MENU ALWAYS AT THE TOP NO MATTER WHAT AND HOW THE HELL DO I FIND A PLACE TO TYPE SOMETHING ON IT IT IS SO STUPID THEY BOUNCE WHEN YOU CLICK THEM. DOWN WITH MACS DOWN WITH THEM ALL!! I WILL SHOW THEM HOW TO DEFENSTRATE, EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM. THERE IS NO NEED FOR THEM WHEN WE HAVE THESE WONDERFUL PC'S!! I HATE MACINTOSH! APPLE, WHATEVER THEY'RE CALLED... I HATE THEM THEY ARE SO STUPID AND THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE NEEDS BETTER WORDS AND I NEED A BETTER VOCABULARY AS WELL BECAUSE "STUPID" IS SO VAGUE JUST LIKE THE WORD "LOVE" AND YEAH I'M DONE. ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS
I
HATE
MACS
SO
MUCH
I
WANT
TO
KILL
THEM
SO ANYWAYS... yeah so i did my stupid project in the lab yesterday and it sucked so bad, i couldnt do it. I HATE MACS!! THEY ARE SO STUPID WHAT WITH THEIR STUPID ONE BUTTON MICE AND THEIR FILE EDIT WINDOW MENU ALWAYS AT THE TOP NO MATTER WHAT AND HOW THE HELL DO I FIND A PLACE TO TYPE SOMETHING ON IT IT IS SO STUPID THEY BOUNCE WHEN YOU CLICK THEM. DOWN WITH MACS DOWN WITH THEM ALL!! I WILL SHOW THEM HOW TO DEFENSTRATE, EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM. THERE IS NO NEED FOR THEM WHEN WE HAVE THESE WONDERFUL PC'S!! I HATE MACINTOSH! APPLE, WHATEVER THEY'RE CALLED... I HATE THEM THEY ARE SO STUPID AND THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE NEEDS BETTER WORDS AND I NEED A BETTER VOCABULARY AS WELL BECAUSE "STUPID" IS SO VAGUE JUST LIKE THE WORD "LOVE" AND YEAH I'M DONE. ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS
I
HATE
MACS
SO
MUCH
I
WANT
TO
KILL
THEM
Monday, November 01, 2004
My Day
i forgot to say about what i am to do today... i plan to do my digital audio project 3 today for audio class and be done by one. so then go home and call aunt pam and go have her dye my hair so it is good... because my hair needs to be pretty. even though it's only been like three days or more since i bleached it, i'm already sick of all the same old cracks. I've put up with the blonde jokes for many times through, but i've never had to put up with red head jokes yet. so this will be something new. yeah... so that's what i am doing today, now i am done!!
Camping
On Friday, I called Aaron. He said they were in Holt and they'd come get me in a few. So real quick i was gone with Skippy and Aaron. We had to go get the solar panels, and eventually made it to the camsite, where poor Paul was all alone in the dark for like five hours. Poor Pauly... well anyways yeah long weekend. Camped with them. Never knew who won the game. I was perturbed because i had a michigan State sweatshirt on, and they would say "You know, State's gonna LOSE..." and i said YES!! GOOD!! because i am a michigan fan. and they laughed at me. but i have to blend in, being i am living like almost on campus, I wont give them a easy reason to not like me and beat me up!! So anyways yeah and on Halloween we were going to leave and i decided to go visit one person for halloween. Dave and Wendy. I havent been through a single Halloween since i've known them without trick or treating them. So i went as an enraged MSU fan who didnt know who won. Wendy laughed at me. She didnt tell me who won though. So i found out who won when i got home, i asked Neil. I was happy! i jumped up and down and was pointing and laughing at Brody Complex. Oh it was beautiful! But yeah so i'm kind of concerned about someone right now, they have me worried about them and their family. I just want things to be better. I hope i'm not just making things worse.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Lately
I have lately been refusing to update my blog because some people dont need to know everything. So i have been keeping YOU away from knowing what is going on in my life and in my head. Because i know that maybe Miranda actaully does read this. Not that she would care to think of me, because as they say..."out of sight, out of mind." so you see, that is why she doesnt bother to call me or talk to me or see me or anything, because she's got other things in front of her to occupy her and keep her from thinking about anyone who isnt there. But apparantly i'm supposed to just move on with my life and forget about it completely that i had a friend that loved me and was the greatest friend anyone could ever hope for...that i'm just supposed to start all over again in search of a friend that great. that i need to just forget she ever happened and find someone to fill that place... I CANT DO THAT. STOP TELLING ME I CAN AND THAT I SHOULD. I CANT. Those of you who think i can, are wrong. Obviously you havent had a friend you would give the world for. You dont know what having such a friend is like if you think i can just give her up like that. It's not possible...
Well, for you Miranda, i hope you arent really thinking like this, you understand my mind better than anyone else. And if you reaaaaaly thought about it you would know what i am thinking. Because not just that, but i have told you it! The entire concept that my whole life is a lie. Or else just alot of it. Maybe you really are just a really good actress. You have lied to me to make me live a lie. Why, i donno. Maybe i'm just a little paranoid, but i've been faked before. Remember? Someone faked a friendship with me for a year and they exposed me to people who didnt like me. They lied to me. I trusted them. I have since always had a huge problem with trusting people. But i trusted YOU, Miranda. Maybe that was the stick that broke the camel's back. Maybe that was what will cause my downfall some day. Which makes me wonder, if all this was/is a lie, and i cant trust YOU, then I cant trust ANYONE. So you tell me, Miranda. Are you intentionally trying to ignore the problem? Or are you finally giving up on letting me live this lie? I am so confused about so many things right now, and this has always been at the top of the list.
So maybe when you know what the truth is, MAYBE THEN YOU CAN LET ME KNOW?? Until then, i'll sit here in my new world with my boys and talk to them about things and try so hard not to mention your name to them.
Well, for you Miranda, i hope you arent really thinking like this, you understand my mind better than anyone else. And if you reaaaaaly thought about it you would know what i am thinking. Because not just that, but i have told you it! The entire concept that my whole life is a lie. Or else just alot of it. Maybe you really are just a really good actress. You have lied to me to make me live a lie. Why, i donno. Maybe i'm just a little paranoid, but i've been faked before. Remember? Someone faked a friendship with me for a year and they exposed me to people who didnt like me. They lied to me. I trusted them. I have since always had a huge problem with trusting people. But i trusted YOU, Miranda. Maybe that was the stick that broke the camel's back. Maybe that was what will cause my downfall some day. Which makes me wonder, if all this was/is a lie, and i cant trust YOU, then I cant trust ANYONE. So you tell me, Miranda. Are you intentionally trying to ignore the problem? Or are you finally giving up on letting me live this lie? I am so confused about so many things right now, and this has always been at the top of the list.
So maybe when you know what the truth is, MAYBE THEN YOU CAN LET ME KNOW?? Until then, i'll sit here in my new world with my boys and talk to them about things and try so hard not to mention your name to them.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
TO YOU REBECCA
Well it turns out people read this crap. But only because they know that I say things on it that concern them. I say what I see. And for you, i will tell you that I got along with Sarah. I tried to be nice to her. I try to be nice to her. But when she starts picking at me and saying things to me that I dont think concern her at all, it offends me. You offended me tonight. People THAT MAY KNOW ME even though i dont know them-- when they can be frank and kinda rude, and say "are you bipolar" and just start saying those things to me that have nothing to do with you, bother me. I dont know you, and even though you may have to hear all of it, well i guess i'm saying that it must be nice to have someone to defend you when you are speechless. See, apparantly i'm so worthless that i cant have anyone bother to do it for me. They say things that look like they may have been defending my reputation, but in the end it's just all about them...but that's getting me way way WAY off topic, not even involving anyone i was just talking about...
I have been saying what i have wanted to say. What i have been feeling has been needed to be said. But when nobody gives me any feedback, how the hell am i supposed to react? i dont have any idea what the hell is going on through Miranda's head--BECAUSE SHE DOESNT TALK TO ME ANYMORE. So yeah i think maybe you should put yourself in my place before you judge me, Rebecca because i have tried to be nice to Sarah. But when nobody tells me what the hell is going on, i am left to the one rule of assuming the worst because anything could be happening. I never know what's going on anymore, and i just feel forgotten or disregarded. And the way you made me feel tonight, that just makes me feel more disregarded than forgotten. But it also makes me feel well, i'm sure Miranda could explain me better than i could. Maybe you should get her to tell you how crazy i am, then maybe you can think about all this and see something new.
Today was starting to get a little bad and by going to see Miranda i thought just a random thought, that if i could just say hi, tell her i missed her and that i loved her and give her a hug, that my day just might become better again. But then you just threw it down, and well since you made me start hyperventalating i havent been able to stop crying, because you really offended me.
Now that you have heard that, Rebecca, post a comment and tell me what you have to say now.
I have been saying what i have wanted to say. What i have been feeling has been needed to be said. But when nobody gives me any feedback, how the hell am i supposed to react? i dont have any idea what the hell is going on through Miranda's head--BECAUSE SHE DOESNT TALK TO ME ANYMORE. So yeah i think maybe you should put yourself in my place before you judge me, Rebecca because i have tried to be nice to Sarah. But when nobody tells me what the hell is going on, i am left to the one rule of assuming the worst because anything could be happening. I never know what's going on anymore, and i just feel forgotten or disregarded. And the way you made me feel tonight, that just makes me feel more disregarded than forgotten. But it also makes me feel well, i'm sure Miranda could explain me better than i could. Maybe you should get her to tell you how crazy i am, then maybe you can think about all this and see something new.
Today was starting to get a little bad and by going to see Miranda i thought just a random thought, that if i could just say hi, tell her i missed her and that i loved her and give her a hug, that my day just might become better again. But then you just threw it down, and well since you made me start hyperventalating i havent been able to stop crying, because you really offended me.
Now that you have heard that, Rebecca, post a comment and tell me what you have to say now.
Long Day Ahead of Me
I like to have a lot of things to do, but today is like whoa--to much! WAAAY too much. After i get out of this class, i will go home and gather all the laundry around. Then i will make my way to Charlotte first--get a yearbook because Mrs. Hosek was supposed to save one for me and if she didnt that shows how evil she really is...
Well so then after my yearbook is recieved, i make my way to Olivet and see grandma. Get laundry started, go with her to Charlotte to order my contacts, then go back to grandma's and at some point in time complete my script for Television Production. Oh people--it's beautiful...
So after I have left grandma's, finished script or not, (but clean laundry anyways :D) somehow get ahold of Aaron and get with him. So yeah other than all that...i guess hah if you dont think that's a full day, then i guess i have a pretty dull day ahead of me!! That's all I'm doing today. I am so freaking hungry. I got up on time today, but I sat around for a while and so I skipped breakfast. If only we had more poptarts, right grandma? right aunt pam?? i dont really like the ones we have left, they taste awful. they're the cheap brand of pop tarts... some things you just dont want the cheap brand of--and pop tarts is one of them.
Ginger
Well so then after my yearbook is recieved, i make my way to Olivet and see grandma. Get laundry started, go with her to Charlotte to order my contacts, then go back to grandma's and at some point in time complete my script for Television Production. Oh people--it's beautiful...
So after I have left grandma's, finished script or not, (but clean laundry anyways :D) somehow get ahold of Aaron and get with him. So yeah other than all that...i guess hah if you dont think that's a full day, then i guess i have a pretty dull day ahead of me!! That's all I'm doing today. I am so freaking hungry. I got up on time today, but I sat around for a while and so I skipped breakfast. If only we had more poptarts, right grandma? right aunt pam?? i dont really like the ones we have left, they taste awful. they're the cheap brand of pop tarts... some things you just dont want the cheap brand of--and pop tarts is one of them.
Ginger
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
OK SODA
TO ALL OF YOU WHO EVER DOUBTED MY MEMORIES OF OK SODA, I CAN NOW LAUGH IN YOUR FACE AS YOU ALL ONCE TOLD ME THAT I WAS CRAZY AND I WAS MAKING IT UP JUST LIKE I DID WITH EVERYTHING ELSE. NOW THINK THIS: IF THIS CAN BE TRUE, WHAT ELSE THAT I HAVE SAID COULD POSSIBLY HAVE TRUTH TO THEM?? NOW JUST HOW CRAZY AM I??
http://home.pacifier.com/~ntierney/oksoda.htm
http://home.pacifier.com/~ntierney/oksoda.htm
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Ok so Neil did it and i want to do it because i can. but it wont let me copy it all because we have CHEAP SHITTY MICE HERE AT LCC so i will have to painfully TYPE IT...
But i am stealing it from Neil.
Firsts...
First Best Friend: Christina Bingham
First Car: currently in the process of getting a Cavilier 1991 4 door
First Date: officially, Travis Ross-double date with Miranda and Nate
First Real Kiss: no comment
First Screen Name: gingermarrie
First Self Purchased CD: not sure, i think it was NSYNC's second album
First Pets: Roadrunner the Cat
First Piercing/Tattoo: nicht
First Musician You Remember Hearing In Your House: Bob Seger
Lasts...
Last Cigarette: NEVER
Last Car Ride: Monday
Last Kiss: Terry
Last Good Cry: when Sarah yelled at me about Miranda
Last Library Book Checked Out: an Art Book for French Class last May
Last Movie Seen: Gothica
Last Beverage Drank: milk
Last Food Consumed: Frosted Mini Wheats
Last Crush: (slap me miranda)...ibzm...
Last Phone Call: well i missed a few but last time i talked was to mon pere
Last Time Showered: two hours ago
Last Shoes Worn: adidas...super-something...
Last CD Played: Green Day
Last Annoyance: SARAH WEBB
Last Disappointment: when miranda didnt react the way a friend really would have
Last Shirt Worn: crappy "cutest kittens have the sharpest claws" shirt that has bleach spots
Last Website Visited: http://neil.cbulock.com
Last Word/s you Said: "how'd you do that?" mumbling to myself to the teacher in photoshop, shortly afterwards i figured it out
Last Song You Sang: Against The Wind, Bob Seger
What Color Socks Are You Wearing: white
What Color Underwear Are You Wearing: grey
What's Under Your Bed?: nothing
What Time Did You Wake Up Today?: 5:45 am
Future...
Where Do You Want To Go?: Hawaii, Albuqurquie(?), London, Paris, Rome...(everywhere)
What Is Your Career Going To Be?: Technical Director at NBC
Where are You Going To Live?: that one place
How Many Kids Do You Want?: no comment
What Kind Of Car(s)?: a hummer a jeep a mustang and a thunderbird
Current...
Current Mood: tamed out since an hour ago...not really anywhere
Current Music: nicht
Current Taste: lemon drop :D
Current Hair: half up half down
Current Clothes: cow pants, green shirt and coat to stay warm
Current Desktop Picture: Blue screen (default lcc computers)
Current Book: havent really been working on it, but the Slimirillion
Current Color Of Toenail: red
Current Hate: all people
Unique...
Nervous Habits? rock back and forth either obviously or barely
Are You Double Jointed?: je ne sais pas
Can You Roll Your Tounge?: no but i can turn my tounge 90 degrees each way
Can You Raise one Eyebrow at A Time?: no
Can You Blow Spit Bubble?: no
Can You Cross Your Eyes?: yes
Tattoos?: no
Piercings and Where?: no
Do You Make Your Bed Daily?: yes-just before i sleep in it
Clothes...
Which Shoe Goes on First: i'm not a band geek i dont choose one foot over the other!!
Speaking of Shoes, Have You ever Thrown One At Anyone?: yes
On the Average, How Much money Do You Carry In Your Wallet?: nicht, i usually have none
What Jewelry Do You Wear 24/7?: i wear the precious around my neck, a star necklace and ALWAYS HAVE my spiral ring on my left hand pointer finger
Favorite Piece Of Clothing: cow pants
Food...
Do You Twirl Your Spaghetti or cut It?: twirl
Have You ever eaten spam?: no
Favorite Ice Cream flavor: mint chocolate chip
How many cereals are in your cabnit?: three
Favorite Beverage: V-8 Spash Strawberry-Kiwi
Favorite Resteraunt: Ponderosa???no--McDonalds!!!
Do You Cook?: yes
Grooming...
How often do You brush your teeth?: in the morning and at night
Hair Drying Method: blow dryer
Have You ever coloured/highlighted your hair? alot
Manners...
Do You Swear?: depending on the group--i think before i say
Do You ever Spit?: NO
What Is Your Favorite...
Animal?: cats, big or small because i am a cat
Food?: corn on the cob
Month?: May-a six day holiday
Day?: Friday Saturday
Favorite Cartoon Character?: well, it's NOT spongebob
Shoe Brand?: adidas
Subject In School?: algerbra
Color?: orange
Sport?: to play, hockey to watch, football
Tv Show?: Days and Passions
In and Around...
The CD player?: my cd player is broken
Person You Talk To Most On the Phone With?: Miranda, though Jordan's making headway
Ever taken a cab?: no
Do You Regularly check yourself out in store windows or mirrors?: YES
What colour is your bedroom?: white, not by choice
Do You Use an Alarm Clock?: yes
Window Seat or aisle?: window seat though aisle gives me easy escape...window seat.
La La Land...
What's Your Sleeping Position?: on my left side but trying to sleep on back it's better
Even In Hot Weather, Do You Use a Blanket?: i always need a blanket
Do You Snore?: no i do not
Do You Sleepwalk?: not that I'm aware of
Do You talk in Your Sleep?: i dont think so
Do You Sleep with Stuffed Animals?: no
How About with The Light On?: not intentionally but yes
Do You fall asleep with the TV or radio on? i can with the tv but usually the radio is too distracting.
wow, that took me all class to do! whew!
But i am stealing it from Neil.
Firsts...
First Best Friend: Christina Bingham
First Car: currently in the process of getting a Cavilier 1991 4 door
First Date: officially, Travis Ross-double date with Miranda and Nate
First Real Kiss: no comment
First Screen Name: gingermarrie
First Self Purchased CD: not sure, i think it was NSYNC's second album
First Pets: Roadrunner the Cat
First Piercing/Tattoo: nicht
First Musician You Remember Hearing In Your House: Bob Seger
Lasts...
Last Cigarette: NEVER
Last Car Ride: Monday
Last Kiss: Terry
Last Good Cry: when Sarah yelled at me about Miranda
Last Library Book Checked Out: an Art Book for French Class last May
Last Movie Seen: Gothica
Last Beverage Drank: milk
Last Food Consumed: Frosted Mini Wheats
Last Crush: (slap me miranda)...ibzm...
Last Phone Call: well i missed a few but last time i talked was to mon pere
Last Time Showered: two hours ago
Last Shoes Worn: adidas...super-something...
Last CD Played: Green Day
Last Annoyance: SARAH WEBB
Last Disappointment: when miranda didnt react the way a friend really would have
Last Shirt Worn: crappy "cutest kittens have the sharpest claws" shirt that has bleach spots
Last Website Visited: http://neil.cbulock.com
Last Word/s you Said: "how'd you do that?" mumbling to myself to the teacher in photoshop, shortly afterwards i figured it out
Last Song You Sang: Against The Wind, Bob Seger
What Color Socks Are You Wearing: white
What Color Underwear Are You Wearing: grey
What's Under Your Bed?: nothing
What Time Did You Wake Up Today?: 5:45 am
Future...
Where Do You Want To Go?: Hawaii, Albuqurquie(?), London, Paris, Rome...(everywhere)
What Is Your Career Going To Be?: Technical Director at NBC
Where are You Going To Live?: that one place
How Many Kids Do You Want?: no comment
What Kind Of Car(s)?: a hummer a jeep a mustang and a thunderbird
Current...
Current Mood: tamed out since an hour ago...not really anywhere
Current Music: nicht
Current Taste: lemon drop :D
Current Hair: half up half down
Current Clothes: cow pants, green shirt and coat to stay warm
Current Desktop Picture: Blue screen (default lcc computers)
Current Book: havent really been working on it, but the Slimirillion
Current Color Of Toenail: red
Current Hate: all people
Unique...
Nervous Habits? rock back and forth either obviously or barely
Are You Double Jointed?: je ne sais pas
Can You Roll Your Tounge?: no but i can turn my tounge 90 degrees each way
Can You Raise one Eyebrow at A Time?: no
Can You Blow Spit Bubble?: no
Can You Cross Your Eyes?: yes
Tattoos?: no
Piercings and Where?: no
Do You Make Your Bed Daily?: yes-just before i sleep in it
Clothes...
Which Shoe Goes on First: i'm not a band geek i dont choose one foot over the other!!
Speaking of Shoes, Have You ever Thrown One At Anyone?: yes
On the Average, How Much money Do You Carry In Your Wallet?: nicht, i usually have none
What Jewelry Do You Wear 24/7?: i wear the precious around my neck, a star necklace and ALWAYS HAVE my spiral ring on my left hand pointer finger
Favorite Piece Of Clothing: cow pants
Food...
Do You Twirl Your Spaghetti or cut It?: twirl
Have You ever eaten spam?: no
Favorite Ice Cream flavor: mint chocolate chip
How many cereals are in your cabnit?: three
Favorite Beverage: V-8 Spash Strawberry-Kiwi
Favorite Resteraunt: Ponderosa???no--McDonalds!!!
Do You Cook?: yes
Grooming...
How often do You brush your teeth?: in the morning and at night
Hair Drying Method: blow dryer
Have You ever coloured/highlighted your hair? alot
Manners...
Do You Swear?: depending on the group--i think before i say
Do You ever Spit?: NO
What Is Your Favorite...
Animal?: cats, big or small because i am a cat
Food?: corn on the cob
Month?: May-a six day holiday
Day?: Friday Saturday
Favorite Cartoon Character?: well, it's NOT spongebob
Shoe Brand?: adidas
Subject In School?: algerbra
Color?: orange
Sport?: to play, hockey to watch, football
Tv Show?: Days and Passions
In and Around...
The CD player?: my cd player is broken
Person You Talk To Most On the Phone With?: Miranda, though Jordan's making headway
Ever taken a cab?: no
Do You Regularly check yourself out in store windows or mirrors?: YES
What colour is your bedroom?: white, not by choice
Do You Use an Alarm Clock?: yes
Window Seat or aisle?: window seat though aisle gives me easy escape...window seat.
La La Land...
What's Your Sleeping Position?: on my left side but trying to sleep on back it's better
Even In Hot Weather, Do You Use a Blanket?: i always need a blanket
Do You Snore?: no i do not
Do You Sleepwalk?: not that I'm aware of
Do You talk in Your Sleep?: i dont think so
Do You Sleep with Stuffed Animals?: no
How About with The Light On?: not intentionally but yes
Do You fall asleep with the TV or radio on? i can with the tv but usually the radio is too distracting.
wow, that took me all class to do! whew!
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Audio Class
YAY!! Once again, i got out of Audio class early today!! I got out at about three exactly. So then i've pretty much been sitting here talking to Zane all this time. I'm kinda not all here lately, because i think of what SARAH is doing to me. I half expect Miranda to call me and have something to say to me real quick...i dont know. i dont know how to react. but i'm not asking any of you what to tell me to do. i just think it's a bunch of lies...either i've been living a lie for the past year and a half or i've been living a lie for the past 8 years...as Haley and Ashlynn would say..."pick one take one!"
Ginger
Ginger
http://c.myspace.com/00024/06/67/24687660_m.jpg
This would be a picture of Miranda and I BEFORE Sarah got in between us. Now it seems as though Miranda couldn't really care too much about me. The other day, a friend and I pulled a prank on her and in the end, it was kind of a test. It turns out that she failed the test. So it appears that if I were in an accident, she would hesitate and think it twice before she would even dare leave. So what does this mean? I suppose she really DOESNT care about me anymore. She really has been brainwashed. She never used to lie to me. Now she does. WHY?
Because of YOU, Sarah.
Now she doesnt like me anymore. WHY?
Because of YOU, Sarah.
Now she wants to ditch me. WHY?
Because some bitch named SARAH hates me. What I did to her, I dont think I will ever know.
This would be a picture of Miranda and I BEFORE Sarah got in between us. Now it seems as though Miranda couldn't really care too much about me. The other day, a friend and I pulled a prank on her and in the end, it was kind of a test. It turns out that she failed the test. So it appears that if I were in an accident, she would hesitate and think it twice before she would even dare leave. So what does this mean? I suppose she really DOESNT care about me anymore. She really has been brainwashed. She never used to lie to me. Now she does. WHY?
Because of YOU, Sarah.
Now she doesnt like me anymore. WHY?
Because of YOU, Sarah.
Now she wants to ditch me. WHY?
Because some bitch named SARAH hates me. What I did to her, I dont think I will ever know.
Monday, October 04, 2004
Saturday, October 02, 2004
PASSIONS
WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHEN THEY STARTED SHOWING ALISTAIR'S FACE?? WHY DIDNT THEY MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT, AND WHO IS THIS NEW GUY? HE DOESNT HAVE THE SAME OMINOUS VOICE AS THE "REAL" ALISTAIR DOES--HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO SHOW HIS FACE JUST SUDDENLY, THERE'S GOTTA BE A REASON!! SOMEONE TELL ME WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY AND HOW COULD THEY!!
NBC.com > Passions > Cliffhanger Challenge
NBC.com > Passions > Cliffhanger Challenge
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Life
we never realize what is so precious about every little detail of our life until we are blinded and we have lived our lives without these small details. For me, i have just been awoken, and i have been shown that not all is a loss-for not everything in my life is imaginary. Or maybe it is because i chose to believe in the world that i created for myself that it became reality. But all is not yet lost- for what I had begun to believe was false, has since came to me and introduced itself just as i always thought it would.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
STUPID PEOPLE
I HATE YOU YOU ARE EVIL
PEOPLE ALWAYS THINK THAT THEY MUST ASSUME
WHY IS THIS? WHY YOU ASK? BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID.
YES, PEOPLE ARE STUPID.
THEN THEY ARE SHOCKED AND GLAD THAT I DONT ASSUME THINGS LIKE THEY DO.
BUT THEY DONT TRY IT OUT THEMSELVES.
BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID.
AND THEN THEY THINK THAT IT'S OK TO ASSUME, AND BE PREJUDICE.
THAT IT'S OK TO SEGREGATE PEOPLE INTO CLASSES.
AS MY WONDERFUL FRIEND AMANDA VAN SINGEL SAID ONCE
"EVERYONE SEES IN BLACK AND WHITE, WHILE ALL I SEE IS GREY."
THIS IS SO TRUE.
IN A ONE SECOND GLANCE AT SOMEONE,
YOU MAY SEE AN ASIAN MAN WITH GREY HAIR AND GLASSES.
I SAW THE SAME PERSON, ONLY I SAW AN OLDER MAN WHO HAD A SWEATER ON AND BOOKS UNDER HIS ARM.
PEOPLE ARE STUPID.
PEOPLE ALWAYS THINK THAT THEY MUST ASSUME
WHY IS THIS? WHY YOU ASK? BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID.
YES, PEOPLE ARE STUPID.
THEN THEY ARE SHOCKED AND GLAD THAT I DONT ASSUME THINGS LIKE THEY DO.
BUT THEY DONT TRY IT OUT THEMSELVES.
BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID.
AND THEN THEY THINK THAT IT'S OK TO ASSUME, AND BE PREJUDICE.
THAT IT'S OK TO SEGREGATE PEOPLE INTO CLASSES.
AS MY WONDERFUL FRIEND AMANDA VAN SINGEL SAID ONCE
"EVERYONE SEES IN BLACK AND WHITE, WHILE ALL I SEE IS GREY."
THIS IS SO TRUE.
IN A ONE SECOND GLANCE AT SOMEONE,
YOU MAY SEE AN ASIAN MAN WITH GREY HAIR AND GLASSES.
I SAW THE SAME PERSON, ONLY I SAW AN OLDER MAN WHO HAD A SWEATER ON AND BOOKS UNDER HIS ARM.
PEOPLE ARE STUPID.
MSNBC - Newspaper from Bush's hometown endorses Kerry
MSNBC - Newspaper from Bush's hometown endorses Kerry
Now imagine, if fifteen years from now Charlotte endorses my brothers' opposition when HE runs for president!!
Now imagine, if fifteen years from now Charlotte endorses my brothers' opposition when HE runs for president!!
I BLEED
For though, once, I saw my blood and thought of all the pain. I only saw what was, nothing more. After you, I see my blood and I see you. I only bleed for you. You are my pain that causes my blood to come to the surface. Some experts say the pain goes away eventually, and the bleeding stops. But I know my blood will not stop. This pain--you-- will drain my blood. For you I bleed.
Ginger
Ginger
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
AUDIO CLASS
yay today we had a test and because the monday class is a day behind us, we have to do nothing until they catch up with us. today we got in there, studied for a half hour and took the test. he said we could leave after we took the test, so here i am i got out at 1:40 or so--it only took about ten minutes or maybe fifteen--not twenty! wow... yeah it was great so now here we are in the computer lab and we're thinking about going to the bank and maybe we'll go home. what we really need to do is find someone to murder. yes precious, we need to murder GVVIB yes precious... hmm...so i may be getting a personalized plate for my car that i NOW HAVE THE TITLE FOR!! yay!! obviously, ginger is taken. i went to www.michigan.gov and looked around there until i found thier wonderful system tool that tells you immediately if that plate is taken or not. so i was there for a while, i'm thinking about GINGERM, meant to read Ginger M. and NOT gin germ like i realized it kinda looks... but if anyone has any idea for a plate for me just post a comment, i'm up for anything that will tell them "it's Ginger Marrie in that car" or "hey that must be ginger!!" if you didnt already know, i love my name! ging is taken too. SORRY MIRANDA, BUT SO IS "GGRR" :(
Ginger Marrie
Ginger Marrie
help me i'm dying
just like ma always said... right now i feel like crawling in a hole and dying... i hate people. all people. unless they are me. miranda falls in that catagory--but nobody else. i dont like you...
Monday, September 27, 2004
AHHHHH
I DONT LIKE PEOPLE THEY ARE EVIL
I DONT LIKE CERTAIN PEOPLE THEY FRIGHTEN ME
I DONT LIKE YOU YOU ARE MEAN
I DONT LIKE THEM
I DONT LIKE PEOPLE WHO FRIGHTEN ME
I DONT LIKE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME CRAZY
YOU MAKE ME CRAZY
I DONT LIKE YOU
YOU ARE EVIL
PEOPLE ARE EVIL
I DONT LIKE YOU
AHHHHHHHHHH
I DONT LIKE CERTAIN PEOPLE THEY FRIGHTEN ME
I DONT LIKE YOU YOU ARE MEAN
I DONT LIKE THEM
I DONT LIKE PEOPLE WHO FRIGHTEN ME
I DONT LIKE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME CRAZY
YOU MAKE ME CRAZY
I DONT LIKE YOU
YOU ARE EVIL
PEOPLE ARE EVIL
I DONT LIKE YOU
AHHHHHHHHHH
This Post's for You, Jessica!!
once again, i've called ma soeur in "Ioway" as they call it and yeah well WE ALL MISS YOU JESSICA!! YOU NEED TO COME BACK "DOWN" HERE AS YOU WOULD SAY, PICTURES ARENT EVERYTHING!! WE LOVE YOU AND WE NEVER FORGET YOU!
maybe some day the trio will be back together again, but right now we're having Miranda issues... and i mean both jessica and i are having them.
well anyways i need to get going on class, post later cuz today is supposed to be a VERRRRY LONG day. i'm going to Charlotte.
tchao for now
Ging
maybe some day the trio will be back together again, but right now we're having Miranda issues... and i mean both jessica and i are having them.
well anyways i need to get going on class, post later cuz today is supposed to be a VERRRRY LONG day. i'm going to Charlotte.
tchao for now
Ging
Friday, September 24, 2004
Define Ginger...
Main Entry: 1gin·ger Pronunciation: 'jin-j&rFunction: nounEtymology: Middle English, from Old English gingifer, from Medieval Latin gingiber, alteration of Latin zingiber, from Greek zingiberi, ultimately from Pali singivEra1 a (1) : a thickened pungent aromatic rhizome that is used as a spice and sometimes medicinally (2) : the spice usually prepared by drying and grinding ginger b : any of a genus (Zingiber of the family Zingiberaceae, the ginger family) of herbs with pungent aromatic rhizomes; especially : a widely cultivated tropical herb (Z. officinale) that supplies most commercial ginger2 : PEP 3 : a strong brown- gin·gery /'jinj-rE, 'jin-j&-/ adjective
Main Entry: 2gingerFunction: transitive verbInflected Form(s): gin·gered; gin·ger·ing /'jinj-ri[ng], 'jin-j&-/: to make lively : pep up
Main Entry: ginger groupFunction: nounchiefly British : a group that serves as an energizing force within a larger body (as a political party)
Main Entry: 2gingerFunction: transitive verbInflected Form(s): gin·gered; gin·ger·ing /'jinj-ri[ng], 'jin-j&-/: to make lively : pep up
Main Entry: ginger groupFunction: nounchiefly British : a group that serves as an energizing force within a larger body (as a political party)
results from www.m-w.com
gin·ger Listen: [ jnjr ]n.
A plant (Zingiber officinale) of tropical southeast Asia having yellowish-green flowers and a pungent aromatic rhizome.
The rhizome of this plant, often dried and powdered and used as a spice. Also called gingerroot.
a. Any of several related plants having variously colored, often fragrant flowers. b. Wild ginger.
A strong brown.
Informal Spirit and liveliness; vigor. tr.v. gin·gered, gin·ger·ing, gin·gers
To spice with ginger.
Informal To make lively: A steel drum band gingered up the party.
results from www.yourdictionary.com
So basically, I am supposed to have orange-brown hair, have a pungent aromatic smell, am capable of healing people, be spunky, lively, spicy, and i am the energizing inner force behind things...
aint i wonderful?
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Ugh...must...sleep...
Currently i am on break from my Television Production class. We have a twenty five minute break. I am so freaking tired. And hungry. Sooooo hungry. I am really hyper but still tired, which i never thought was possible. Well anyways, those of you who actually read this crap, have a nice weekend and maybe sometime you could post a comment--that's what they're there for :D ...
c'est tout pour maintenant, au revoir mes amis!
Ging
c'est tout pour maintenant, au revoir mes amis!
Ging
My Audio Project 1
on Tuesday, i scheduled for Wednesday at 4:30 to come in to the beginner's lab and edit my project. i wasnt on the system becuase i'd never checked anything out before there. So they told me i could have the 4:30 spot and they wrote it down for some guy to put me in there later. so i went in there ten minutes before, and they said it was taken because the guy never put me on the system. so they put me on the system right then and put me in for the next one-- at 7 Wednesday. so i went home, ate, then went back and did it. lemme tell ya, being in that room with no clock, no windows other than the door...i may have only been in there for two hours as scheduled...but IT FELT LIKE FIVE!! i was so tired when i got out of there, it was so boring!! next time i think i'll bring a cd to play while i am cutting and splicing, because i was going insane in there with no sound so i played the three songs on that project cd that they altogether added up to probably almost three minutes. i played them over and over until i wanted to be on top of a mountain singing with my arms wide open "THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC..."
c'est tout pour maintenant, au revoir mes amis!
Ginger Marrie
c'est tout pour maintenant, au revoir mes amis!
Ginger Marrie
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
What are we without drama in life??
Ok, for all of you that know about the soap opera Passions on NBC, i dont have to explain much. But this sucks because the rest of you dont know what the hell i'm talking about. OK... i have been known to compare sticky situations in my life to the wonderful soaps of Days and Passions. Well, now i am going to tell you that you can compare what is going on in my life right now compares to the triangle of Miguel, Charity and Kay. Now i wont say any names, but i do play out as Charity. by the way, whatever happened to them on the show??
Well anyways, that's how my life is right now, and if you dont get it go to www.nbc.com and find the Passions section and well yeah if you're really concerned about finding out what the hell i'm talking about you're curiosity will drive you there to find it.
P.S. [Kay] is so friggin dumb if she thinks she can do this!! What a moron!!
Well anyways, that's how my life is right now, and if you dont get it go to www.nbc.com and find the Passions section and well yeah if you're really concerned about finding out what the hell i'm talking about you're curiosity will drive you there to find it.
P.S. [Kay] is so friggin dumb if she thinks she can do this!! What a moron!!
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
...At the Bus Stop...
...at about 10:00 in the morning, where it was sunny yet still cold from the night before, i sat at the bus stop awaiting my bus. I look about me as i am attempting to read my class book, and i see all sorts of people. Something stood out to me. A man on crutches. He had a sock on his foot, and a sandal on the other. He had khacki's on. He had a backpack on as well. I made it to his face. He had blonde hair...obviously fake. He turned to look around, and he looked so familiar. Instantly i knew it had to be Brian Myers. I smirked, when i thought it could be. That preppy ass who was always so evil... and he saw me. There we were, stairing at eachother like we were old friends but had nothing to say to eachother. I got on my bus. He was still standing there stairing at me, obviously still trying to figure out who i was. He watched me as i was on the bus, unsure to my identity. I laughed over it...but it wasnt so funny as yesterday and Shelby Moore...hah, that still is funny...
Monday, September 20, 2004
EVERYONE LAUGH AT SHELBY!!
hey everyone, remember Shelby Moore, one of the heads of the many prep circles??
well today i was walking along and i saw a flashy car parked in front of me... and it was his car!!! how could i mistake it--i have wanted it for over a year!! well i saw that and thought "hahahahahaha!!! look at him!! he is a spoiled rich kid whose car is the whip and yet he spent so much money on it that his parents put a limit on his funding and told him to go to a cheap college!!!" oh wow... i got a good laugh out of that. He's a rich kid who spent all his msu college money on his car so he cant afford--even though he's a spoiled rich kid--to go to a big college!! he has to go to lcc...ok i'll get off that now, but i really did laugh hard about that.
well today i was walking along and i saw a flashy car parked in front of me... and it was his car!!! how could i mistake it--i have wanted it for over a year!! well i saw that and thought "hahahahahaha!!! look at him!! he is a spoiled rich kid whose car is the whip and yet he spent so much money on it that his parents put a limit on his funding and told him to go to a cheap college!!!" oh wow... i got a good laugh out of that. He's a rich kid who spent all his msu college money on his car so he cant afford--even though he's a spoiled rich kid--to go to a big college!! he has to go to lcc...ok i'll get off that now, but i really did laugh hard about that.
Friday, September 17, 2004
Thursday, September 16, 2004
My quiz
In tv class today we had a quiz. I was sure it would be on chapters 8,9 and 11 but it turned out it was only on 8. and it was easier than i thought. he told us things to review then only a quarter of what we reviewed was the test. that bugged me. but oh well, i think i did pretty good. I am beginning to get that thing back where my eyes shake in my head again. Jordan tells me it is from my astigmatism because when he had one that's what the doc said (who by the way has the same eye doc as me) so i guess after a while maybe it'll quit happening. Another thing--this contact is like so weird because--well ok my eyes are always more open than most, as you all know. so when i first got contacts i had to realize what it felt like for a contact to want to pop out of my eye, so i could save it because otherwise it was coming out. and my eyes are always wide open so unless they are perfectly moisturized...they want to come out. well anyways this new contact that is real thick-- it's wanted to pop out every day that i've worn it so far, yet is is so hard to take out when it comes time to do so...this thick contact really sucks... but it's kinda cool cuz i can turn it and be blind!! i guess i need to close my eyes...OK i'll shut up about the contacts!!
so yeah Neil needs to do something about his headaches, if you dont believe he's been having them always just check out his blog and refer to like october or january or so and may i think and then you'll see how long he's had to put up with this... http://neil.cbulock.com
so yeah Neil needs to do something about his headaches, if you dont believe he's been having them always just check out his blog and refer to like october or january or so and may i think and then you'll see how long he's had to put up with this... http://neil.cbulock.com
My results from taking a color quiz...
Free personality analysis from ColorQuiz.com.
Your Existing Situation:
Imaginative and sensitive; seeking an outlet for these qualities--especially in the company of someone equally sensitive. Interest and enthusiasm are readily aroused by the unusual or the adventurous.
Your Stress Sources:
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.
Your Restrained Characteristics:
Circumstances are such that she feels forced to compromise for the time being if she is to avoid being cut off from affection or from full participation.
Believes that she is not receiving her share--that she is neither properly understood nor adequately appreciated. Feels that she is being compelled to conform, and close relationships leave her without any sense of emotional involvement.
Your Desired Objective:
Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of experience. Wants to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt, to win, and to live intensely. Likes contacts with others and is enthusiastic by nature. Receptive to anything new, modern, or intriguing; has many interests and wants to expand her fields of activity. Optimistic about the future.
Your Actual Problem:
Takes a delight in action and wants to be respected and esteemed for her personal accomplishments.
Your Existing Situation:
Imaginative and sensitive; seeking an outlet for these qualities--especially in the company of someone equally sensitive. Interest and enthusiasm are readily aroused by the unusual or the adventurous.
Your Stress Sources:
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.
Your Restrained Characteristics:
Circumstances are such that she feels forced to compromise for the time being if she is to avoid being cut off from affection or from full participation.
Believes that she is not receiving her share--that she is neither properly understood nor adequately appreciated. Feels that she is being compelled to conform, and close relationships leave her without any sense of emotional involvement.
Your Desired Objective:
Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of experience. Wants to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt, to win, and to live intensely. Likes contacts with others and is enthusiastic by nature. Receptive to anything new, modern, or intriguing; has many interests and wants to expand her fields of activity. Optimistic about the future.
Your Actual Problem:
Takes a delight in action and wants to be respected and esteemed for her personal accomplishments.
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Sleep...
...must...have...sleep...sleep good...i am so tired! i only got two hours of sleep i think. i still dont get it my alarm went off at 615 instead of 545...but i went out on the couch and fell back asleep--unintentionally--and woke up at 715. oh no! i usually leave at 710!!
but it's a good thing i like to be early, because i got on the bus at about 740 and walked into my class at 805--time to start!! so yeah now i know if the bus isnt slowgoing, i'll still make it at 740--but i'll still get on the 710 bus!!
yeah Neil and i were bored last night and couldnt focus, so we went to the msu library. took a while to find two adjacent computers, but we did. and we accomplished barely anything that we intended on. well ok neil did. i had no plans. He was going to read and he "clickity-click-click"ed and we finally left at 1230. then of all things, i decided i wanted a quote shirt from Vitale Inc. and so now i have one. THE BEST PART IS, IT'S NOT A WHITE SHIRT!! perfect for all us anti-white colour people!! so yeah i went to bed at probably 330. i may be exausted and missed my time to leave...but i got a Vitale Inc. quote shirt because of it!!
but it's a good thing i like to be early, because i got on the bus at about 740 and walked into my class at 805--time to start!! so yeah now i know if the bus isnt slowgoing, i'll still make it at 740--but i'll still get on the 710 bus!!
yeah Neil and i were bored last night and couldnt focus, so we went to the msu library. took a while to find two adjacent computers, but we did. and we accomplished barely anything that we intended on. well ok neil did. i had no plans. He was going to read and he "clickity-click-click"ed and we finally left at 1230. then of all things, i decided i wanted a quote shirt from Vitale Inc. and so now i have one. THE BEST PART IS, IT'S NOT A WHITE SHIRT!! perfect for all us anti-white colour people!! so yeah i went to bed at probably 330. i may be exausted and missed my time to leave...but i got a Vitale Inc. quote shirt because of it!!
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Miranda
Miranda...she hates me for things i may have done to her, yet i am not the only one who is the "wrong" one in the picture. if she could recollect the previous schoolyear, and remember how she treated me. i understand, that i cannot compare one specific incidence to last schoolyear, but that is in another boat. i think if we had our time we would get past that problem. but there is never any time, and so everything goes unfinished, and that's when it gets worse. if we could just sit down and talk for a day alone and no interruptions, Miranda... we might be the duo everyone remembers. That is, of course, unless you don't want to be part of that again, you'd rather have Tony and Sarah to fill that void. I'm not attacking Tony- he's filling the boyfriend void. But he's probably doing a little of the friend void- the rest that Sarah is not filling in my place. Now i am pretty sure Sarah hates me and if she doesnt well now she probably does. But Sarah, look through my eyes. In my eyes, you grabbed Miranda by the arm when she was sleeping and had her sleepwalking and when she awoke, she went with it, walking away from me. And because of that, she kept walking and forgot what was behind her, even when it caught up to her and said "remember me?" she could not remember it, for...i dont know why.
My point is, Miranda we need time. ALOT OF IT. This cant go untouched for as long as we have let it. And Sarah, see my side before you determine that you officially hate me.
My point is, Miranda we need time. ALOT OF IT. This cant go untouched for as long as we have let it. And Sarah, see my side before you determine that you officially hate me.
This Weekend
i had a long weekend, i just realized today is Tuesday. Sunday i hung out avec mon pere and yesterday i went over there again. i am so exausted, i just want to go home and sleep until i cant lie there any more. i could probably sleep for twenty good hours right now.
so the way i am told, grandma and grandpa are coming home tomorrow. i think i'll call them tomorrow, and say hello--last sunday was "grandparent's day". they went to see grandpa's sister and on the way there saw my sister. i'd like to kidnapp her and bring her back up here. well i'd like to do that to Miranda too--she cant seem to understand what i mean anymore. i guess i kinda dont understand myself either, but well i never have. i guess now i have nobody to explain me to me once miranda is gone.
so the way i am told, grandma and grandpa are coming home tomorrow. i think i'll call them tomorrow, and say hello--last sunday was "grandparent's day". they went to see grandpa's sister and on the way there saw my sister. i'd like to kidnapp her and bring her back up here. well i'd like to do that to Miranda too--she cant seem to understand what i mean anymore. i guess i kinda dont understand myself either, but well i never have. i guess now i have nobody to explain me to me once miranda is gone.
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Blackboard
oops...
Yeah so now I FINALLY LOGGED ONTO BLACKBOARD WITH TWO NEW CLASSES ON MY LIST!!!!! OH IT'S SO GREAT!! but really, i guess blackboard isnt so great as i thought it was.
yesterday went to Charlotte and went with Mike and saw the second Resident Evil. it was friggin awesome!! i swore in those fight scenes, i was in the matrix!
and as sad as this may sound, when i was watching it, half my mind was watching the movie as it was, and the rest of it was analyzing it into the rule of thirds, and...yeah i guess school is getting to me! i guess that's what happens when you take classes that teach you how to effectively do things to the audiance. wow, i really want to make a movie!! oh, man... i think i'm going to find out about the editing rooms, see if i cant make something for Jessica... but they're probably closed at the help desk downstairs. i can always check, it's not like i dont have a healthy set of legs!
so i went to Aunt Pam's today, hung out with mes cousines, and did laundry. People want me to go to the Frontier Days tonight to the rodeo but i dont know if mon frere would want me to drive his car more than i have already in the past two days. well, c'est tout pour maintenant! au revoir mes amis!!
~Ging~
note to self: I LOVE ME
Yeah so now I FINALLY LOGGED ONTO BLACKBOARD WITH TWO NEW CLASSES ON MY LIST!!!!! OH IT'S SO GREAT!! but really, i guess blackboard isnt so great as i thought it was.
yesterday went to Charlotte and went with Mike and saw the second Resident Evil. it was friggin awesome!! i swore in those fight scenes, i was in the matrix!
and as sad as this may sound, when i was watching it, half my mind was watching the movie as it was, and the rest of it was analyzing it into the rule of thirds, and...yeah i guess school is getting to me! i guess that's what happens when you take classes that teach you how to effectively do things to the audiance. wow, i really want to make a movie!! oh, man... i think i'm going to find out about the editing rooms, see if i cant make something for Jessica... but they're probably closed at the help desk downstairs. i can always check, it's not like i dont have a healthy set of legs!
so i went to Aunt Pam's today, hung out with mes cousines, and did laundry. People want me to go to the Frontier Days tonight to the rodeo but i dont know if mon frere would want me to drive his car more than i have already in the past two days. well, c'est tout pour maintenant! au revoir mes amis!!
~Ging~
note to self: I LOVE ME
Friday, September 10, 2004
IT"S OFFICIAL!!
well ok i am still incapable of logging onto blackboard, but i've been added finally to the class!! now i can do nothing more!! i'm just waiting for them to add me in there so i can get on blackboard...
yeah today i saw this lady on the cata bus who was posessed. it was frightning. i thought she was speaking tounges. but the lady next to me pointed out that she can be psycho sometimes because she "is posessed" as she told me. i kinda believe it, too because the bus driver was tired of hearing her talking to herself in a language nobody knew, so she turned on Christian music and she got worse. it was weird.
c'est tout pour maintenant, au revoir mes amis!
yeah today i saw this lady on the cata bus who was posessed. it was frightning. i thought she was speaking tounges. but the lady next to me pointed out that she can be psycho sometimes because she "is posessed" as she told me. i kinda believe it, too because the bus driver was tired of hearing her talking to herself in a language nobody knew, so she turned on Christian music and she got worse. it was weird.
c'est tout pour maintenant, au revoir mes amis!
WOW...
Yeah... yesterday was...something. i am still in shock from what i found out exactly twenty three hours ago... cant really talk about it but it was a big surprise to me. Miranda, i just emailed you about it. That'll really make me mad if you knew all this time and never had the urge to tell me.
MOVING ON FROM THAT... yeah...
yesterday other than the ongoing drama, i had my tv class yesterday. it's odd, you can tell what i am into by observing me in these two classes: audio and tv. both four hours long. In audio i'm falling asleep, in tv i'm hyper. audio is so boring!!!
MOVING ON FROM THAT... yeah...
yesterday other than the ongoing drama, i had my tv class yesterday. it's odd, you can tell what i am into by observing me in these two classes: audio and tv. both four hours long. In audio i'm falling asleep, in tv i'm hyper. audio is so boring!!!
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Yesterday and Today
yesterday Neil came home with greasy hands and torn pants. It turns out that he was trying to pass someone on his bicycle and hit the curb wrong, causing him to fall. The chain came off, and that's what tore his pants. He was very upset about his pants.
Miranda and i talked alot yesterday and today. She plans to call me later today and tell me--maybe--her reaction to everything i have said. i asked her today to say something but she couldnt come up with her response. I dont know, maybe she's afraid to say it. And therefore, I am a little depressed.
On a lighter note, i saw an old friend that i havent seen in a long time today. she used to be half my size, four years younger than me--now she's taller than me!! even taller than Miranda...
I still want to see Zane. Why cant I manage to find him when i want to see him?
I kinda wonder about Marta. I want to talk to her again--badly. She's supposed to write to me soon, and...i just miss you Marta.
c'est tout pour maintenant! au revoir mes amis
~Ging~
Miranda and i talked alot yesterday and today. She plans to call me later today and tell me--maybe--her reaction to everything i have said. i asked her today to say something but she couldnt come up with her response. I dont know, maybe she's afraid to say it. And therefore, I am a little depressed.
On a lighter note, i saw an old friend that i havent seen in a long time today. she used to be half my size, four years younger than me--now she's taller than me!! even taller than Miranda...
I still want to see Zane. Why cant I manage to find him when i want to see him?
I kinda wonder about Marta. I want to talk to her again--badly. She's supposed to write to me soon, and...i just miss you Marta.
c'est tout pour maintenant! au revoir mes amis
~Ging~
Yesterday and Today
yesterday neil came home with torn pants and greasy hands. he had tried to go around someone on his bicycle and hit the curb wrong and fell. his chain came off. so he was really upset that his pants were torn.
so today i am going to go to Charlotte again, only this time i'm not going to take the detour that goes to "Brighton"... no i plan to go right there!!
c'est tout pour maintenant! au revoir mes amis!
Ginger Marrie
so today i am going to go to Charlotte again, only this time i'm not going to take the detour that goes to "Brighton"... no i plan to go right there!!
c'est tout pour maintenant! au revoir mes amis!
Ginger Marrie
Yesterday and Today
yesterday after i got home, Neil came rushing in at like 6:15 with grease all over his hands. He proceeded to complain about how he hates his bike. it turns out he was trying to go around these people in front of him and instead of getting back on the sidewalk and going right over the curb, he hits the curb on the side and crashes. he tore his pants and that made him very mad. his chain came off too.
so yeah then mon pere came over and told me about a car i could have. so i dont really know right now what's going on. the world is still spinning yet i think somewhere in there i couldnt keep up with the world and it lost me.
today i plan to go to Charlotte again and THIS TIME I'M NOT GOING TO DETROIT!!
it has been an exact week since i attempted to go to Charlotte and ended up in "Brighton". UGH!! i know now, though, that when LEAVING LANSING DO NOT TAKE THE DETROIT ROAD!! THAT ONLY APPLIES WHEN GOING TO LANSING...i am a moron...
so yeah then mon pere came over and told me about a car i could have. so i dont really know right now what's going on. the world is still spinning yet i think somewhere in there i couldnt keep up with the world and it lost me.
today i plan to go to Charlotte again and THIS TIME I'M NOT GOING TO DETROIT!!
it has been an exact week since i attempted to go to Charlotte and ended up in "Brighton". UGH!! i know now, though, that when LEAVING LANSING DO NOT TAKE THE DETROIT ROAD!! THAT ONLY APPLIES WHEN GOING TO LANSING...i am a moron...
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
today was very dull
today was indeed quite dull. really, nothing big happened. i wanted to go scream at miranda earlier. but i couldnt because we were talking online and if i'dve screamed out loud i'dve upset the people around me... and i'm in a full computer lab...
yeah well miranda and i are talking right now and out of all the problems we have she can only think of two things to ask me over and over. now there wont be another time for like two months where there is ginger/miranda time, again. because either she's with her tony or with her precious sarah who hates me. so basically "ginger/miranda time" is a thing of the past.
i'd like to just kidnapp her for three days to settle all this. though knowing us it'd probably only take us two hours alone!! ugh...miranda. you're starting to be almost as annoying as Terry.
yeah well miranda and i are talking right now and out of all the problems we have she can only think of two things to ask me over and over. now there wont be another time for like two months where there is ginger/miranda time, again. because either she's with her tony or with her precious sarah who hates me. so basically "ginger/miranda time" is a thing of the past.
i'd like to just kidnapp her for three days to settle all this. though knowing us it'd probably only take us two hours alone!! ugh...miranda. you're starting to be almost as annoying as Terry.
Wow this weekend
drama always seems to strike you when you want it... the only problem is it either hits you hard or it has bad timing. in refrence to last weekend it was a hard hit. but right now, it has found really bad timing...
cant really talk about it. but i saw someone in a new light this weekend. and they did with me as well.
as for miranda, well... she seems to not care about me anymore.
c'est tout pour maintenant, au revoir mes amis... gotta go to class.
cant really talk about it. but i saw someone in a new light this weekend. and they did with me as well.
as for miranda, well... she seems to not care about me anymore.
c'est tout pour maintenant, au revoir mes amis... gotta go to class.
Saturday, September 04, 2004
Four Day Weekend
where we last left our heroes...
well i couldnt turn in my add/drop form yet because it didnt have someone's signature on it that i dont even know who it is that i have to find. so yeah... friday i slept in and was reallllly happy about that. yesterday i did nothing other than clean the house up and make it very tidy looking. but i couldnt do the stupid dishes since i have nothing yet to plug the drain. so yeah then today here Neil and i are in the MSU Library and going to Aunt Pam's later.
c'est tout pour maintenant! au revoir mes amis!
well i couldnt turn in my add/drop form yet because it didnt have someone's signature on it that i dont even know who it is that i have to find. so yeah... friday i slept in and was reallllly happy about that. yesterday i did nothing other than clean the house up and make it very tidy looking. but i couldnt do the stupid dishes since i have nothing yet to plug the drain. so yeah then today here Neil and i are in the MSU Library and going to Aunt Pam's later.
c'est tout pour maintenant! au revoir mes amis!
Thursday, September 02, 2004
today was...
Ok, so today I went to class and I did all the things I needed to do, except for one. But I got out of class at five, and I can’t call after 4. and that’s call the school. So tomorrow hopefully they are in for office hours, otherwise I will call Tuesday…
so yeah i'm going to go turn in my add/drop forms and go sleep...
so yeah i'm going to go turn in my add/drop forms and go sleep...
WHAT A DAY!!
yesterday...i got up and went to class. normal.
i leave class and catch CATA bus. Go home. normal.
i leave home at 10:40 to go to Chartucky. I end up in "Brighton". NOT normal.
i was almost in the yellow of Detroit. i was balling. finally at 2 i got to Miranda's. spent most of day in car, and Charlotte (except for my half hour in brighton...) (oh and my three hours i think of driving there and back...)
at 9 got home. postcard on door. normal.
read postcard. phone number and "Dad and Shannon" written on it. NOT normal.
knocks on door. normal.
open door. mon pere. NOT NORMAL.
yeah...then call miranda. no answer phone. normal.
call jessica. NOT normal.
talked to her for an hour. normal.
went to bed with Neil talking as i am in the twilight stage of sleep. normal.
end scene.
oh and i have a bruise on my eyebrow from when i ran into the glass wall... I WAS CRYING AS I DID IT, DONT LAUGH AT ME!
i leave class and catch CATA bus. Go home. normal.
i leave home at 10:40 to go to Chartucky. I end up in "Brighton". NOT normal.
i was almost in the yellow of Detroit. i was balling. finally at 2 i got to Miranda's. spent most of day in car, and Charlotte (except for my half hour in brighton...) (oh and my three hours i think of driving there and back...)
at 9 got home. postcard on door. normal.
read postcard. phone number and "Dad and Shannon" written on it. NOT normal.
knocks on door. normal.
open door. mon pere. NOT NORMAL.
yeah...then call miranda. no answer phone. normal.
call jessica. NOT normal.
talked to her for an hour. normal.
went to bed with Neil talking as i am in the twilight stage of sleep. normal.
end scene.
oh and i have a bruise on my eyebrow from when i ran into the glass wall... I WAS CRYING AS I DID IT, DONT LAUGH AT ME!
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
I'm In Class
currently, as i am sitting here at my computer, i am waiting for the prof to finish showing the other hs to log on. so yeah today i get to go to chartucky!! i am so happy about that. i'm just afraid i will get lost on the freeway since nobody ever let me drive the freeway so i dont know my way. i know the general idea and i have a few maps that might not even work but i'll get where i need to be. maybe i'll do that right now and look at a map...what is wrong with me?!!
WHIPPET
this is the best looking whippet i had time to look for. i have to get to class right now or i'd say more. but this is the Whippet i want someone to get me someday...not THIS specific whippet...but a white one. and i want it to be a puppy when i get it so i can raise it and be it's only master...
just so you know...
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
My Audio Production 1 class
yes, that's right...i am in the class now. heh...the prof is hot...too bad he's like 26! yeah i thought it was funny this guy came in there to unlock the door and i thought he was a media aide. some of the students are older than the prof! i just think him being so young he'd be teaching all this to us...but he is! he didnt even graduate 10 years ago! only 8! wow...
Aside from my good looking professor...tomorrow i'm going to visit Chartucky, "Home of the [Sea]". so yeah and now i need to go home and sleep cuz i think that's why i'm so scatterbrain today is because i am so tired. i have only been sleeping for 6 hours and my body is used to 12. Literally! i thought this morning i had dark circles under my eyes, which i never have because i am good at that 'get your sleep' thing but i dont know if they're still there. yeah, i need to go home and get energy. Tchao mes amis
Ginger Marrie
Aside from my good looking professor...tomorrow i'm going to visit Chartucky, "Home of the [Sea]". so yeah and now i need to go home and sleep cuz i think that's why i'm so scatterbrain today is because i am so tired. i have only been sleeping for 6 hours and my body is used to 12. Literally! i thought this morning i had dark circles under my eyes, which i never have because i am good at that 'get your sleep' thing but i dont know if they're still there. yeah, i need to go home and get energy. Tchao mes amis
Ginger Marrie
my eisd class
today in my "Eaton Intermediate School District" class, Computer Graphics and Web Design, i have come to realize that i may not be a big shot, or a loud mouth, or a class clown... but the first day of class i always seem to be the only brave one and i am the only one who is without fear. i may be a tad nervous at times, but i will talk and say what i would any other time.
today has not been so bad, yet. i still have alot to do... but i'm going to wait until the day is over to tell you all. i sent a message to Zane thru people telling him to eat at school tomorrow. because tomorrow, after class, i am taking Neil's car down to lovely homey Chartucky and first going to the school and eventually having ma sign those stupid papers...maybe see Mithrandir... i have to call her.
c'est tout pour maintenant! au revoir mes amis!
today has not been so bad, yet. i still have alot to do... but i'm going to wait until the day is over to tell you all. i sent a message to Zane thru people telling him to eat at school tomorrow. because tomorrow, after class, i am taking Neil's car down to lovely homey Chartucky and first going to the school and eventually having ma sign those stupid papers...maybe see Mithrandir... i have to call her.
c'est tout pour maintenant! au revoir mes amis!
Monday, August 30, 2004
today sucked
yeah i'm exausted. when i got home i went and got the key and while i was at it i asked them where that road was. they found it for me but it didnt stay in my mind and i had no map. so i found the address and i went to la post. it took me forever to find THE STUPID THING!! i had to ask someone after i walked around two blocks looking at my cata map and wondering why it wasnt there but then after i was shown where it was my map made sense. so... I MAILED MY FATHER. i didnt know what to say so i kept it to like a small paragraph telling him i was up here and if he wanted to come see me i'd be here. i dont know why i did it. i really dont. but...someone who has taught me many things in the past two years opened my eyes to another thing. their mother lived her entire life angry at her father because he never came around, then when he died her and her sister regretted it, and will always regret ignoring him JUST BECAUSE he "ignored" them when THEY were young. i still am angry at him but i dont want that to ever happen to me so i want to make it a little easier.
so yeah i went by there and i realize it really is pretty ghetto, like i was told it was. so yeah... i'm just angry today...so much crap that i cant believe is going on.
c'est tout pour maintenant, au revoir mes amis.
so yeah i went by there and i realize it really is pretty ghetto, like i was told it was. so yeah... i'm just angry today...so much crap that i cant believe is going on.
c'est tout pour maintenant, au revoir mes amis.
school school schooooooooool is cool
hey just sitting here in the comp lab at lcc after class, the stupid cata bus came late and flew by us there at the stop so we walked down to the other one that the lady stopped at and got on five minutes later. then i got there and found no tracks for hs students so i went to the fourth floor up the stairs, was exausted, and asked her where the hs students were. so she directed me to the bldg and i got in. so then as the guy was talking i realized Charlotte students were right in front of me and i saw Zane and that made my day. i wanted to yell out to him and wave, but i didnt. later when he left with his class though i got him to see me. that really made my day though.
so in my computer graphics and web design class it was fun. well not really it was the same old boring "paperwork must be turned in asap" crap that everyone has on the first day. i'm glad though that that's my ONLY hs class in a not technical way... so then i went out with everyone to the busses and i waited with them. the chs bus came and people lined up for that. i saw Stephanie and then i saw Tony Librojo at the front of the line and i was going to go get him but he got on the bus for i could catch him.
so i am yet to talk to Zane, i was really looking forward to talking to him, i havent seen any of these people in so long!! i think on wednesday i'm going to come down on the bus and have ma sign my stupid paperwork so i can have it turned in on thursday. friday there is no school. so friday i have completely off and so does neil except for his dentist appt...so then i need to ask these people about my access to blackboard cuz my access is denied when it comes to trying to enter into mtec classes that i am enrolled in.
actually i was thinking already i'd come down on friday, but now maybe even on wednesday AND friday!!because if i do it right, on wednesday i need ma to sign those papers and on friday ma is coming up there so maybe i could go up there or no i'll walk to the dentist and catch neil on his way back up!! c'est parfait!! so ma could take me back up on wednesday and neil on friday cuz he'll be going back up there anyways!! well i guess i better get going...
c'est tout pour maintenant! au revoir mes amis!!
so in my computer graphics and web design class it was fun. well not really it was the same old boring "paperwork must be turned in asap" crap that everyone has on the first day. i'm glad though that that's my ONLY hs class in a not technical way... so then i went out with everyone to the busses and i waited with them. the chs bus came and people lined up for that. i saw Stephanie and then i saw Tony Librojo at the front of the line and i was going to go get him but he got on the bus for i could catch him.
so i am yet to talk to Zane, i was really looking forward to talking to him, i havent seen any of these people in so long!! i think on wednesday i'm going to come down on the bus and have ma sign my stupid paperwork so i can have it turned in on thursday. friday there is no school. so friday i have completely off and so does neil except for his dentist appt...so then i need to ask these people about my access to blackboard cuz my access is denied when it comes to trying to enter into mtec classes that i am enrolled in.
actually i was thinking already i'd come down on friday, but now maybe even on wednesday AND friday!!because if i do it right, on wednesday i need ma to sign those papers and on friday ma is coming up there so maybe i could go up there or no i'll walk to the dentist and catch neil on his way back up!! c'est parfait!! so ma could take me back up on wednesday and neil on friday cuz he'll be going back up there anyways!! well i guess i better get going...
c'est tout pour maintenant! au revoir mes amis!!
Sunday, August 29, 2004
Rest
today i woke up at seven and hung around the house all day. until about seven pm then we got on the cata bus and came over here to the computer lab, because we were bored. we were resting all day and we had been boarded up in our room all day we had to go do something! so here we are! and tonight i have to go to sleep early so i can wake up in the morning and be ready to catch my bus to lcc at 720 am. c'est tout pour maintenant! au revoir mes amis!
Friday, August 27, 2004
"We cannot live without drama"
indeed...today has been long, it's not over yet. i have been cleaning all my clothes and sorting and hauling everything inside that i'm not going to take with me. it is so hot outside. i think the ac has been on in here all day. then earlier we went to meijers and bought groceries for tomorrow. so then the other day JESSICA mailed me!! i have some pictures of her and all i think of her senior pictures...i should advise you though, that expect nothing less than what you would expect jessica to look like in these pictures...that's all i'll say...
so this is really bothering me that nbc 10 is now connected somehow with fox 47...(i hate fox!) yeah... and this stupid lcc blackboard thing is making me mad cuz now i've found out how to log on to it but my access is denied for looking at my class' things. it sucks. c'est tout pour maintenant! ging
so this is really bothering me that nbc 10 is now connected somehow with fox 47...(i hate fox!) yeah... and this stupid lcc blackboard thing is making me mad cuz now i've found out how to log on to it but my access is denied for looking at my class' things. it sucks. c'est tout pour maintenant! ging
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
here i am, a tornado!!
hello, i'm ginger the tornado!! coming to get you my pretty! i'm in a tornado but it's north of us it's in our county though. well so this saturday mon frere et moi are moving up to east lansing there right next to brody hall. So tomorrow morning at 715 AM i have my eye appointment, then at 110 pm i have my first class at lcc. i have the tv production tomorrow. grandpa's reading a story about some aliens in the newspaper. huh. so yeah oh of course...miranda has to put down the moose...sob sob sob...i will miss the moose dearly. that's all for now, i leave you with dear thoughts of the moose...
Saturday, August 21, 2004
ahh...
here with mon frere: Neil. at mark's house. well we are moving up to East Lansing on the 28th and i'll get to class via CATA bus. that's how...solving my pickle from the previous post. this month man...i've wanted to kill two people! well one i've always..."hated" and now i officially hate a new person. cant say who though...i've been at grandma's since the first i think of this month. yada yada yada and i know not what else to say. i really want to check my stupid mail but i friggin forgot my stupid password so i friggin gotta friggin wait for the friggin thing to send the friggin 'forgot my password' email to neil so i can friggin open the friggin thing UGH!!! yeah im done. oh--miranda's kinda mad at me but i'm kinda mad at her so in that fashion we're equal...sigh...
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
BUH!! Bonjour! Ca va??
bonjour mes amis! i have not had the internet in a long time...and now here i am avec my aunt beckie in the Bellevue library. yesterday i got in a fight with the pay phone at the corner store down from my house, my knuckles are cut up and brused. see, miranda was referring to our current situation by mentioning RYAN. and then as we were deep into our argument the stupid thing told me to put in twentyfive more cents, which i didnt have at the moment so i hung up and got blood on the payphone. and later i cut my cuts back open by punching it when...nevermind. yeah. well i'm going to lcc next year and i dont have a job yet and i need money fast cuz i need to buy my books and i need a way up there every day and school starts august 26th and this really really sucks...gotta go check out other things tchao mes amis! i love me!!
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